The Little Old Lady Stays Put

Death by Mortgage. Is a Reverse Mortgage the Answer?

2012-02-25T07:47:00.000-08:00

An interview with mortgage consultant,Jacqueline Wisner

Mortgage Network Solutions LLC

Keepthe house. Sell the house. How much money do I actually have? Howmuch do I need? What if I had thetime it takes to earn the money to keep and manage the house, and could devote itto other pursuits – like blogging?

Givenmy personal “cash to time” ratio, I’m afraid that in order to get my time backI would have to follow Grace’s fourth rule: Youhave to be willing to change your lifestyle.

ButLittle Old Ladies are famously inept at looking at or understanding theintricacies of banking, investments, taxes, insurance, and for me reversemortgages are now at the top the mix. Since I fell for this stereotype hook,line, and sinker, I stupidly avoided these topics altogether because theyscared me. Now that it’s time toface the music, I don’t know nearly enough. And, it’s making my head ache to think about them – but Imust say, I’m trying. And the mistis slowly clearing. Bottom line -there may not be a perfect answer to any of the questions surrounding these topics.But the point is to tackle them and TRY to understand the playing field.

However,now that I’m ready to take a look, the economy is sinking. According tomortgage banker, Jacqueline Wisner, with Mortgage Network Solutions – reversemortgages are not as easy to come by as they once were. A number of big banks including WellsFargo are no longer offering them at all, she said, because they’re not aboutservicing, they’re about profit. Since the funds for these mortgages are givenup front - from a bank’s perspective, with property values dropping, theirloans could end up being worth more than the houses they are attached to. And, if reverse mortgages are not goingto be profitable, out they go.

Atthis point, the choices I currently see myself having are as follows:

Sellthe house and rent another, getting rid of the maintenance and taxes whilecontinuing to practice a shared living arrangement either with my current housematesor by finding others. This would involve a good deal of disruption and rentalsare not necessarily reliable.

Or,find another place to live which is organized for seniors.

Or,stay where I am and cope.

Iwill be researching all of these options going forward, in accordance with thetheory that if I talk about something long enough with enough people, a pathwill appear. Stay tuned.

Fornow: Here is Jacqueline Wisner.

LOL: Jacqueline, please give us your take onreverse mortgages. Are they goodor are they evil? Why are lendersreluctant to give reverse mortgages in this market?

J.Wisner: Reverse mortgages did havea bad reputation because they weren’t regulated. But that’s changing now thatthe loans are structured and insured under the Federal Housing Authority (FHA) and represent about 95% of the reverse mortgage market.Because the homeowner receives monies as a lump sum or line of credit, thereverse mortgage can relieve the stress of meeting monthly financialobligations, which can be very good for some people. For others who foreseehaving costly health conditions or medical needs or other life issues impactingtheir finances, a reverse mortgage may not be the answer because even with areverse mortgage, there will not be sufficient funds. You have to ask yourselfa number of questions: The first is - do I actually want to stay in myhome? Then…do I want/need to leavean inheritance to my heirs in which case should I leave the equity in the housealone? What other income is available to me? Will the house need major repairssoon? And, as in the previous example, will these costs outstrip my reversemortgage income?

Thereis an informational void out there. People rely on the media, and the media is often wrong: “It’s a terribletime to buy. You can’t get mortgages. If you don’t have a good credit score forget it. You must have a 20% down payment.” Nottrue.

Inaddition, the picture has changed. In the past, houses would appreciate. Now,with property values dropping, lenders realize that a house could be worth alot less than their original loan, so potentially they are losing money and ahome carrying a reverse mortgage will have to be sold or refinanced at the timethe owner is deceased making it more difficult for the lender to recoup ontheir loan.

LOL: Then why are some lenders stilloffering reverse mortgages?

J.Wisner: The reverse mortgage stilloffers a terrific win-win opportunity, if used in the proper way. For example, with a reverse mortgagethe person who is about to lose her house because she doesn’t have enoughincome to pay her property taxes - although she’s paid off her mortgage andowns the house free and clear - is able to use her home as a source of funds topay off those liens. In another example, if you have medical needs - and youalso need home repairs – you might explore managing these costs through areverse mortgage.

Areverse mortgage provides an option to someone who might otherwise be forced tosell, by allowing the owner to put the equity in the house to work in thepresent, giving them financial independence while still living in the house. Ifthat person dies, their executor - you must have an executor to receive areverse mortgage – is responsible for refinancing or selling the home to payoff the loan.

LOL: Can you explain some of the specifics?

J.Wisner: Yes. You must be atleast 62 years of age to apply. If there are two owners, the youngest must be62 years old. You must have a reasonableamount of equity in your home. And they’re not cheap. There are feesattached. Appraisal fees, closingcosts, attorney fees, fees for a title search – as well as points. To somedegree points, also called origination fees, will depend on the lenders – theaverage is 2 points (a point being1% of the entire loan amount). These are capped at 2% up to $200,000. Plus 1% of the value over$200,000. The total fee is cappedat $6,000. You never losetitle to your home. You cannot owemore than the value of the house. And you don’t pay income taxes on the cashyou receive.

Toensure that you make an informed decision, HUD requires attendance in a reversemortgage counseling session that explains what to expect from your mortgage andits appropriateness for your situation.

LOL: New Jersey real estate attorney, Tessa L. Schultz, agrees that reversemortgages can be a good solution under the right circumstances. If there is enough equity in the house,she says you are essentially switching places with the lender. The reversemortgage gets rid of your mortgage payment, and also gives you additionalincome to live on. If the numberswork out, you can stay in your home for your lifetime. In effect, the lender ispaying you to stay, and you become the lender. If you run the numbers and they make sense, a homeowner canhave a better quality of life in the present by using the equity they have intheir house, now.

On the other hand mortgages are a sticky wicket. Tread lightly and getgood advice. I am now askingseveral experts to run the numbers for me and to advise me. And I am about to sign up for themandatory reverse mortgage counseling session which I hope they will allow meto

take before I apply as part of my decision-making process. Jacqueline has promised to get me thenumber and I will call to find out. We’ll see.

With over 30 years in business,Jacqueline Wisner uses her broad experience with major lenders to customize mortgageplans for her clients. Jacqueline Wisner can be reached at jw@thewisemortgage.com.

More about Reverse Mortgages:

The following article was recently sent to LOL by colleague and fellowblogger Linda West Eckhardt publisher of Everybodyeatsnews.com It illustrates the complexities ofmortgages and fees.

CBS This Mornng "Hidden"mortgage fee paying for payroll tax cut

By Sharyl Attkisson February 6, 2012 8:06 AM

Formore information on reverse mortgages visit Ronni Bennett’s blog Time Goes By. Ronni has devoted this sectionto a careful description of her own successful search for a reverse mortgage.

Jacqueline Wisner suggests reading“Reverse Mortgage Loans: Borrowing Against Your Home” a 44-page booklet onreverse mortgages from AARP or call 1-800-209-8085

AARP’s calculator estimates how much you can get from this loan:

Reverse Mortgage Guides.org is a reversemortgage education site thatexplains many of the pros and cons of HECM reverse mortgages for homeowners.

Jacqueline Wisner

Mortgage Network Solutions LLC

Exploring: Should I live here (If they’ll have me)? Part 2

2012-02-21T07:23:00.000-08:00

Fellowship Community Volunteers Paula and Mark Fine
Photographer, Grace Xue

We did it. Grace and I visited the Fellowship Community yesterday - my second foray into potential new places to live. My hip behaved and I’m walking much better now, although nothing like the several hardy ladies we saw tromping about the property, pink cheeked and sparkling eyed. There is lots of opportunity to walk at Fellowship which will probably add ten years to your life. What an experience.

While there, we had a wonderful private tour conducted by Grace’s Yoga teacher, Paula Fine, and her husband Mark (77 and almost 80) who have been volunteering there for 17 years – primarily in the bakery. But, after weeks of fantasizing, when we got there, at 70.75, I felt too young to move in. According to Kathi Starkey of the Fellowship Foundation, this was because our tour had taken us to the area of their adult care facilities whereas Fellowship is a community of people of all ages. "We believe there is a quality to life at every stage," she said, "and every life - regardless of age - is capable of growth. We all have so much to learn from one another regardless of age; with our younger people serving the older people, the importance of 'age' is diminished and the needs of another human being become our focus."

So Kathi recommended that I return for a second visit, which I look forward to doing, because at almost any age, the Fellowship Community would be a wonderful place to live. In my view it would be just the thing if one were seeking a life of service. Or, if one were in need of an adult care facility. But, where do I fit in? Could it be here? Am I ready to slow down – smell a few roses – be a proper 70-year-old. Can I do that while continuing to bring in the bacon? What do I want, anyway? The dark side of having choices is having to make them.

Hill Top House dining room in one of the Community's facilities.

The Fellowship Community is located on 80 acres of farm and orchard and woods. It is a caring, nurturing, and committed community whose mission is the care of seniors. The air is fresh. I believe the food is organic - in any event, the vegetable soup I ate for lunch along with thick slices of homemade bread from their bakery, was organic. And probably the delicious butter I slathered it with was too, because there are cows.

I’m told that when there is spraying in the surrounding communities – when will they learn? – the Fellowship Community has a big sign posted so airplanes can see it saying something like: “Don’t Spray Here”.

Christine O'Brien, head cook and former personal chef - working in the bakery.

There are others living there, too. Student volunteers learning from the Rudolph Steiner philosophy in action, adults who do wish to live a life of service as well as volunteers of all ages and backgrounds committing time and energy to the place. There is a larger community as well. Children from the local Rudolph Steiner Waldorf School visit the Fellowship Community chicken coop and play in their tiny stream with no apparent insurance regulations forcing them to close in the stream with wire fencing. There is a teacher’s college associated with Steiner methods nearby, as well as a school of Eurythmy - “an art of movement initiated and developed by Rudolf Steiner, and the work of Eurythmists” *.

A less than beautiful view of the entrance to their lovely Thrift Shop.

We love thrift shops. I bought a wonderful hand crafted bowl painted w/ the image of a humming bird - possibly from their own pottery workshop. But, being me – while I was there I found myself craving the energy of the City (New York), although I know that when I’m in NY I crave the trees and air.

And so I must have faith that the process of ‘stirring the pot’ as my friend Rose calls it - in other words, writing this blog…will enable me to meet and talk with so many new people that it will all come together. And, in fact, there is a bus to Manhattan just down the road. Meanwhile, my research and discussions with mortgage bankers in preparation for an upcoming post on reverse mortgages has resulted in my being offered a lower rate for a new ‘real’ mortgage on my home and I’ve just received an impressive (and daunting) package from Wells Fargo, which is evaluating me now. If it goes through, I will get my payments down by well over $1,000 a year although I'm told the first year’s savings cover the new fees, so no real savings…but my out of pocket will be lower, too, which is a good thing. Life is a journey.

One fun bit of information: If you are interested in learning more, periodic tours are held and visits are encouraged. For a modest fee, you can even stay over night to experience their way of life more fully. I fully intend to go back for an overnight with Grace, or one of my daughters. Inquiries can be made through their central office, 845-356-8494, or rsffoffice@fellowshipcommunity.org

That's all for now.

Entertainers performing at the Hand and Hoe Cafe

* Eurythmy, a relatively young art form, was developed a little over 80 years ago. Today, it is performed worldwide by professional eurythmists who have completed a five year program at one of over twenty schools. As a movement art eurythmy brings the essence of music and language to visible manifestation. We not only hear the words and music but they become visible to our eyes. Through deliberate, sculptured gestures sounds take physical form. Eurythmy is not interpretive of music and poetry. It is a true sounding or singing through the body as an instrument.

Exploring: Should I live here (If they’ll have me)?

2012-02-11T07:32:00.000-08:00

Grace and I are off today to visit the Fellowship Community - my second foray into potential new places to live – the first being HUD housing in my own hometown.

While I would love to stay right where I am which HUD would allow, I am also a little gun shy about moving to such a tiny space in the center of my old home and haunts. I’ve discovered that I am much more materialistic than I realized and have a lot of work ahead of me releasing these attachments.

Actually, as I understand it, the Fellowship Community offers even less living space than HUD, but is a real community of all ages, with cows, a bakery, a print shop, a farm, and at least one stream, centered around the care of the elderly. It sounds like it’s at the opposite end of the spectrum from HUD, which thankfully provides the fundamentals of shelter but leaves the rest of your living conditions up to you.

However at 70.75 I may not be old enough for them. Here’s what we know so far.

According to their website: “about 150 elderly, children and coworkers live in a rural setting of farm, woods and orchards about 30 miles north-west of New York City. Working and learning together in service to others and in caring for the earth is the central motif of the community life. Those who are interested in a path of self-development in the process of building and maintaining community might find this a place of interest.”

The community is based in the teachings of Rudolf Steiner who is also at the heart of the Waldorf Schools movement. It is run by the Rudolf Steiner Fellowship Foundation, Inc., and licensed by the State of New York as an adult care facility. Inquiries can be made through their central office, 845-356-8494, or rsffoffice@fellowshipcommunity.org.

Tours and even short stays can be arranged by appointment only.

I’m nervous – which is often the other side of excitement. Signing off for now, but stay tuned.

The Little Old Lady Newswire

2012-02-05T07:10:00.000-08:00

Profiles to Live By: via Rose Bennett Gilbert

Bungalows With a Worldview, the New York Times, On Location in Miami, Jan. 19, 2012

By ELAINE LOUIE
Photo: Tony Cenicola/The New York Times

Tamara Hendershot, 68, makes a living by renting out every part of Magic City Farm, a one-acre compound with eight buildings — seven bungalows and a boathouse, all dating to the 1910s and 1920s — as a location for print, television and film shoots.

One more point from Grace on retiring comfortably

2012-02-01T06:34:00.001-08:00

You have to be willing to change your lifestyle

According to Grace

(see LOL post 1/16/12)

- for a comfortable retirement you need some of the following:

1- friends

2- money

3- health

4- And now she adds, "You Have To Be Willing To Change Your Lifestyle"

Give up my house???????? !!!!!!!!!!

The other day Grace and I spent the morning eating turnip cakes* together in honor of Chinese New Year - the Year of the Dragon started on 1/23/2012: Of course we were discussing money and retirement plans.

Grace is all set - just waiting for her senior housing to open up. Meanwhile, while I am the epitome of a lovely youngish old lady (only 70.75) sharing her house with interesting, sometimes fun people, aging in place as God intended…

I am still loaded down with quarterly taxes due in two weeks, a furnace which is going strong but is, after all, 24 years old, a house full of knob & tube wiring which will make it hard to sell, and yesterday it snowed.

While we were talking, Grace told me a cautionary tale about an American friend who dated an older man for many years - saw him thru several illnesses and hospitalizations but they never married or had any legal connection. When his final illness came upon him - he went to live with his son (age 60) who saw him thru it on condition that he leave nothing to this lady friend, who has told Grace that she will now have to work until she dies. The first problem with that: It’s not possible.

Lesson number 1: Among other things - marriage is a business
Lesson number 2: Grace has added one more qualification to her list of what is necessary for a good retirement:

Be willing to change your lifestyle.

That's the tough one for those of us attached to our middle class lifestyle. But I’m paying attention. While I’d like to stay put, I now have plans to go out with another good friend once a month to look at alternate places to live in, which I can afford, and that I will want to live in.

The networking / research part of the LOL project is beginning. This Friday I visit with the Final Fridays group of caregivers. Yesterday I had coffee with a member of the Fellowship Community, a community of all ages, centered around the care of the elderly.

Stay tuned.

*Turnip Cakes: 2 pounds daikon radish. 1 bag rice flour. Shred the radish (which we call turnips for this purpose), sautee dry - she said they will release their own liquid. Add to rice flour - mix to a dough - add whatever you like. Grace adds tiny shrimp and bits of this and that. I would make them vegetarian with tiny pieces of sauteed mushroom, green onion, or anything else that took my fancy. Fry as patties.

A Parallel Universe: Alongside Dementia/3

2012-01-28T08:38:00.000-08:00

Butterflies in December

By Susan Lyons

Christmas has always been important to Richard – even now that we've moved to Charleston from the colder North. But not the religious observance. For him Christmas means a warm, family thing. Gifts (modest, meaningful), a cheerful wreath on the front door, a really nice dinner, a tie and jacket.

All this held true again this year, although getting it done was little more difficult in light of the vascular dementia that now governs his mind.

To my mind, what we are coping with actually imbued the holiday with all the more meaning.

It was mid-December when Richard asked me to drive him to the local mall here in Charleston SC. “I have some Christmas shopping to do,” he announced with characteristic determination. Though unsaid, I knew it was for me.

“I'll meet you at the car in half an hour,” he declared, disappearing into a mob at one of the larger department stores and leaving me to assume that the rest of the afternoon would be spent trying to find him; I never imagined, given his intermittent confusion, that he would find his way.

But find his way he did. As I pulled the car up to the door where we agreed to meet, there he was, packages in hand, smile on face, right on time.

Is this a big deal? You bet.

Richard is at the early mid-stage, as they call it, of a process that robs the mind of a sense of time, place, people, process, and memory. So a shopping trip takes an enormous amount of mental energy – an investment whose value, that day, was incalculable.

That evening he was exhausted. That evening, I realized how much I still have of him.

It's also a big deal, because this disease process is so invisible, so unpredictable, in flux day to day, sometimes hour to hour. It keeps the caregiver (me) in a constantly state of assessing, and reassessing, and then wondering just how accurately my mind and my gut are getting it.

It's like a final exam in Reality Check that goes on and on and on.

With family spread around the globe, the holiday was ours, his and mine. The week before, he asked me to drive him to one of the better restaurants in town so he could make Christmas Eve reservations in person and make sure things would be just so.

That left only one big decision on Christmas Eve: Would it be a green tie – or the red one?

I thought about all this that afternoon, taking an hour on my back porch by myself to have a bite of lunch. It was an exquisite Charleston day – not a cloud aloft, a few roses still in bloom, a gentle breeze promising that one day summer will return.

And then, on that breeze, came a butterfly, silently flitting, grabbing my attention as it created a shadow over my newspaper page.

Butterflies in December. Balance – even as some things go awry.

On Christmas morning, we exchanged a few gifts over an intimate breakfast. I love the handsome, snuggly scarf he found to go with my winter coat, and I love the pampering eau de cologne and body creams that he chose. He did good.

He loves the book about dogs filled with wonderful photos and anecdotes (Our collie, Bonnie, is his joy and constant companion). And he loves the newly released “Amalia” tape – songs by Portugal's famed Fado singer. (Richard's lineage is part Irish, part Portuguese, with, he says, maybe a little Sephardic Jewish thrown in from way, way back).

I also got him two other small books – British mysteries that once he enjoyed reading. He had expressed interest in the titles few weeks ago, but by the time they arrived at the Christmas breakfast table, he had forgotten all about having mentioned them.

The holiday continued with a cheerful dinner out that evening, and Christmas Day dinner with four good friends/neighbors across the street. It was one of the happiest few days we'd had in awhile – in part, I think, because Richard felt he did his part. That still matters.

New Year's was quiet. No noise, a couple in for drinks and catching-up. Late-night television, and a kiss and mutual wishes for a good year to come.

Let's hope.

A chill is forecast for coming days; winter, finally settling into the South. As I see it today, my task is to keep from wondering and worrying how things will be when next the butterflies cast their fleeting shadow.

Dementia, a terrifying term, is a condition which more and more of us are experiencing first hand as life expectancies increase. Susan Lyons is a longtime journalist whose life has been rocked by this scourge as her much loved husband's developing cognitive decline permanently altered her daily routine, as well as her broader perspective. This column affords her a venue to share her insights into caring for him -- as well as for herself -- during this difficult period of their lives. Susan Lyons's work has appeared in The New York Times and other northeastern newspapers. She was an award-winning senior reporter for The East Hampton (N.Y.) Star for 10 years before she and her husband moved to Charleston, S.C., where she continues to write and edit on a freelance basis as her personal life allows. LOL

For shared comments, please respond here. A click on the title takes you to the comment window. Susan can be reached personally at amagansue@gmail.com

On a Personal Note

2012-01-24T07:47:00.000-08:00

The Blinders are Off: Coupons & Deals RULE - LOL

It's embarrassing, but I feel like the only Little Old Lady out there who hasn't been clipping coupons and looking for deals. In fact, I was probably the only one in America not doing it - except for the 1% - who probably don't bother. Although, in some cases I suppose watching their pennies is how they got to be in the 1%. And I did try now and then. It's just that with coffee and a roll hitting several dollars or more in NJ where I live, nickels, dimes, quarters, and even the occasional 50 cents didn't seem worth the effort. But that was then, and this is now.

I saw the light when my family's "Secret Santa" holiday gifting assigned my brother to me. My brother wanted a very specific fine tipped, adjustable, black, Sharpie pen which he uses at work and goes through in droves. He usually buys them at Staples in New York City for at least several dollars each. Fine. There's a Staples near me and with my new austerity budget I decided to look Online to see if I could conquer the toxic combination of dyslexia and inability to maneuver thru web researching which is bogging down my internet life. My plan was to find a sale, print out the coupon if necessary, and go to the store. And - beginner's Luck... I found a 50% off sale right off the bat...which brought the gift to $25 from $50 with free shipping. Heady stuff. But it would only work if I made the purchase Online - Problem: could I do it?

Here's what I learned. The economy is so bad that retailers are putting humans back on telephones to help those of us who are not yet conversant with 21st century digital speak. So... with a little searching I found a TELEPHONE NUMBER. And the truth is I needed a lot of help. Which I got. From a human. As I said, they seem to be remembering that some of us who are not too swift Online still make up a huge shopping demographic.

In point of fact, I don't mind going to the store because my brain gets tired w/ all this online backing and forthing, which we did not grow up with. However, having made a purchase Online, I was Proud! I felt empowered.

This led to my remembering an earlier time when my friend Grace, (see LOL January 16th, 2012) told me that if I didn't like the interest rate on my credit card, I could call the company and say,"I don't like this interest rate, what else can you give me?" And they would probably lower my interest rate. I didn't believe her. But that's exactly what happened. Maybe they still will.

With that training in mind, when I recently spoke to Wells Fargo which holds my mortgage - and mentioned that I'd been turned down by Obama's "Making Homes Affordable Mortgage Modification Plan" - the agent said, "I think I can help you with that."

REALLY?

Yes indeed.

And they lowered my payment by .5%. Not a lot. But definitely something.

What's going on?

So when I recently received a solicitation in the mail for a 0% Bank of America card, I immediately used it to pay for my new dental bridge which allowed me to spread out the not insignificant cost without accruing interest. Of course they're hoping I'll skip a payment which will allow them to bump up my interest to God knows what. But, it's not gonna happen.

Feeling my Online oats, I went to Amazon to buy Parsley Plus, a natural, parsley scented, non-toxic spray cleaner for countertops, appliances, floors, tile, etc. - which my fanatical daughter, Jane, who is all about avoiding additives, told me about. And guess what? I was offered a gift of $40 if I opened a Visa account w/ them. So I looked for their telephone number -- which was there -- buried, but there. And I signed up - with a lot of help from them. Which I needed. None of this is impulse shopping. How great is that?

So, I was in Walgreens buying a battery-operated handheld can opener which functions like a little egg-shaped robot that turns itself on top of the can. And it occurred to me while I was in the checkout line to ask if they took AARP. They did. Joy. I dug out my card. They ran it through. And gave me $5. Which I immediately used to buy a little gift for a friend I would be seeing later that evening.

After getting rid of extra credit cards in the name of discipline, I am not encouraging people with poor discipline and poor memories to carry multiple credit cards. But for those who can hold onto a no-interest card and not use it, or only use it for gas and points...I now say, if there are percs attached, go for it. LOL signing out.

Health and Wellness

2012-01-21T08:12:00.000-08:00

Aging with Creativity by Risa Olinsky, M.A.

As a junior older person, Risa Olinsky, 57, sends these ruminations on growing older to LOL. Her previous post is Health and Wellness

Having made significant health-related lifestyle changes as a young woman, Risa understands the challenges individuals are faced with when change is needed. Risa has spent more than 25 years as a personal trainer / health and fitness guru, and has recently broadened her focus to include lifestyle and wellness coaching. She has both the personal and professional expertise to help her clients navigate difficult situations.

"I write this with tears in my eyes, listening to my favorite Barbara Streisand album. Why? I’m a sap, totally emotional when I think about life and what’s to come. I’m writing about aging with the buzzing energy of imagining myself at 23 dreaming about being a dancer on Broadway. I was fearless. I was filled with endless energy. I could stay up all night and dance all day – not now, but that’s OK.

The tears are tears of pure joy, not sadness. Why?

I’m excited about the prospect of the future: family, work, friends, grown children building their lives, the hope of someday becoming a grandmother, the idea of doing more triathlons, walking many more miles and traveling through more countries - all the possibilities that lie ahead. Life is an open book and I look forward to reading every page, or should I say writing the story.

So why do some look at aging as a negative thing? I don’t know…here’s my take on it.

Aging is not about slowing down – it’s just about taking your time to see more along the way. When we’re young we are consumed with moving forward, achieving and proving to both the world and ourselves we have a purpose, a reason to exist. Somewhere about 50 plus or so, I woke up, said “world – take it or leave it.” I exist with a purpose whether or not others know it, like it or even care – because I care.

I do what I need to do, when I need to do it and for whatever purpose and this is the gift of aging.

On occasion I stand in front of the mirror and look at both my face and my body. It has changed. My skin is different. I have deep lines that used to be called “laugh lines” - now they are just lines and I will simply have to laugh more about the notion that I have them.

I have the beginning of jowls, the result of having been a chubby young girl, losing the weight and left with the extra skin. Gravity is not kind. Oh well. I have a bikini line cut where the doctors opened me up to help me give birth to two healthy babies who are now magnificent young men – a side effect of motherhood. I was once 5’ 1” tall and now due in part to a curvature of my spine and beginning osteopenia, I am just 5 feet tall – oh well – in the most elegant of stores they call this “petite.”

However long I live is fine, as long as I can live being a creative and purposeful woman. I am most concerned with the quality of my life, not the quantity. I fear nothing about death. I fear only living without purpose, energy and keeping my creative spirit alive."

In addition to her private practice in Maplewood, Risa Olinsky is the new Lifestyle Coach with the Atlantic Health Systems Integrative Medicine Program at Morristown Medical Center in Morristown, N.J. Risa offers private health and wellness coaching sessions by phone and / or in person in her office in Maplewood, NJ. http://www.risaolinsky.com/

Profiles to Live by

2012-01-16T06:35:00.000-08:00

A Successful Retirement: Life in the Slow Lane

According to my Chinese friend, Grace, you need 3 things for a successful retirement: your health, some money, and friends. She’s right about that. Of course no one’s health is perfect. Hers isn’t. Mine isn’t. But everything is relative. The important thing is to focus on what the retirement scenario would, or could look like for you. For Grace, it has meant paring down to the basics with great discipline in order to quit her job and buy her freedom.

Trained as an English teacher in China, and unable to find equivalent work here, she was willing to do whatever it took to begin her new life in America. This she has done for over 20 years, primarily working as a bookkeeper.

But today, in her latest new life as a retiree, an average week for Grace includes daily Yoga, water aerobics, weekly classes in English Literature reading the likes of Emerson and Thoreau - regular birthday lunches with a raft of new friends who are her current water exercise buddies, and periodic trips to Europe, China and other exotic destinations. “Plus once a week practicing Ma Jong, the American way,” she reminded me. “It’s very different than the Chinese way. I love doing that.”

Grace is the only one I know, personally, who is more or less going at her own speed. She has worked very hard to get to this point, and now insists she won't ever work again. She’d had it. Her kids are grown. Her husband has returned to China where he has a giant extended family and is respected as a senior citizen and former professor with a comfortable pension. And after so many years, desk work has killed her back. So she gradually stopped working as a bookkeeper, gave up most of her worldly goods, and moved into someone else's apartment as his roommate to establish residency in the town she wants to retire to without a major outlay of funds. Now she is on the list for HUD housing in that town, with plans to move in when something opens up.

But the change wasn’t easy. She’d been at it for so long that when she finally stopped, she went into a kind of nervous collapse with terrible back pain and serious depression - although she might not agree that there was a connection.

Then, after a great deal of suffering - and television watching - from the outside looking in the pieces just seemed to fall together - and it appeared as though one day she got up from her bed with a whole new plan place. She was going to move to senior housing after finding an interim affordable place to live until she could do that. Basically she was looking for her next new life. Which she has found. How amazing is that?

Grace grew up in a large extended family in Indonesia, was shipped to China by her parents to avoid anti-Chinese sentiment at home, only to be caught up after graduation in the anti-student, anti-intellectual Cultural Revolution that sent her to be reeducated in the leech-infested rice paddies of an army farm which had been reclaimed from the sea. There were no comforts - no shoes in the rice paddies, no floors in the thatch-roofed tropical huts where she lived with her classmates alongside snakes and spiders. “We were treated like buffalo”, she said, “pulling the plows in the rice fields.” Or they were set to separating rice seedlings from weeds which mimicked them in every way. The worst was during the harvest, when they worked night and day around the clock – under overarching lights which shone on the students when the dark descended.

Two whole years were spent on this farm surviving grueling conditions including a hurricane which broke their dam. “Water was pouring in, exactly as it did in New Orleans, “ said Grace. When she heard about it, she said, "I’ve been there! More than a hundred students died as well as thousands of soldiers during that time. Their slogan was ‘so long as we are alive the dam exists’" – which meant that soldiers and students were told to jump into the gap to make a human dam. Thousands were swept away. Many students lost their lives trying to escape to higher ground. "It was the most terrible experience,” she said.

Finally, life returned to a semblance of normalcy and Grace was trained to be an English teacher. But she found little call for that skill when she arrived in the US, ultimately securing her right to remain. The transition was not easy. For one thing she needed a job. Small wonder that she welcomed the ordered existence of the small electrical firm which employed her for so many years during which time she brought her son, daughter, and husband here, too, and helped them to get established.

I met Grace when I began to share my home. At that point, she was a visiting scholar at a local university who moved in straight from Communist China wearing a Mao suit and having never seen a check. Her entry into my house felt like a big change to me, but it was a much bigger change for her. However, she has transformed herself according to conditions time after time, and now as I watch, she’s doing it again. Having retired on what some would consider very little, the quality of her life is better than ever. Over the many years I’ve known her she has been a teacher to me in sturdiness and resilience.

Once she’d made up her mind, Grace and friends, and on occasion Grace and I visited a number of towns and to look for senior housing – if there was any. This is not like looking at apartments on the open market. Senior housing officials will usually not let you in to see their apartments, making it very difficult to plan. “Just be glad we have a place for you to lay your head,” they seem to be saying. "Don’t be a pest.” But she was able to check out towns, locations, and exteriors. In some cases, we managed to get inside and walk around at the entry level to get a feel for the place. I went with her on several occasions because Grace doesn’t drive and I was eager to go along knowing I might end up doing what she was doing.

It is interesting to note where towns place their senior housing. Often it is “Away”, like migrant worker housing which is hidden from view because we don’t want to know too much about the people who pick our food. In a similar vein, we seem not to want to know too much about where we put our less than affluent seniors. But sometimes they are seemingly placed with thoughtfulness and care, within town, within walking distance of shops and services, like family. I believe that these are towns which are thinking that their own parents and grandparents could be living in these buildings – “let’s let them be able to walk to the store, the post office, the library and the pool!

And so, after studious searching Grace has found a town she loves and she developed the plan which would get her into what seems to be a wonderful senior housing program right in the downtown area. But she would have to move and establish herself as a resident for several years. So she answered a Craigs List ad and therein lies this portion of the tale.

Due to planning, foresight and discipline, Grace will be living in one version of shared housing. She will be in the middle of a small city with every amenity. She is an example to all of a very independent, low-income person whose life is as full as she wants it to be. I find myself feeling jealous as I play with the idea of doing the same thing myself. My friend Grace is a woman warrior and a true citizen of the world.

2012-01-12T04:47:00.000-08:00

On a Personal Note

Final Fridays

Yesterday I was invited to a networking group for health care providers who work with seniors. It meets for breakfast during the last Friday of the month, early, which I hate, and is called Final Fridays. Get it? Final Fridays… !!@@# I am tempted to say, Oh, ho, ho, ho. Very funny. Clearly, even those sometimes saintly caregivers are freaked out by the end of life – and so make jokes about it…get it? – Final…

But I think I’ll go. I have a wonderful new card for LOL full of flowers and ribbons, which I got from Vista Print - theoretically for free - until I made an edit (because you can’t call them), and that flipped it into the $15 category. Oh well, it’s our first card for LOL and I actually love it. So I will bring a bunch and hand them out.

And there we are. I never expected to be old – how stupid is that - or to be writing about old age. But I love producing this blog. Albeit, shy about exposing myself and admitting to problems – I like digging in, which is what writing is all about, and I love interviewing others – getting to know them – entering their worlds – as well as working with our growing group of guest bloggers. So thank you daughter Jane, for pushing me into this.

I will report back after visiting Final Fridays, which is still several weeks off. If I even make it there. I will certainly try. Then, I remind myself: “Do or don’t do…There is no such thing as Try.” Yoda

LOL Profiles to Guide our Lives

2012-01-09T09:18:00.000-08:00

Meditation Coach, Mark Riesenberg, 64, is now facing some of life’s toughest challenges physically, financially and emotionally. He shares his thoughts on living life to the fullest thru good times and bad. His new book, Brightening Your Life's Path, describes his journey, and Wingmakers references teachings as the pool of wisdom which guides his life. I don’t know if I will be as brave when my turn comes.

The Secret of Life (When it’s no longer theoretical)

By Mark Riesenberg

City Slickers! What a great movie! Do you remember the scene where Curly played by Jack Palance is riding his horse next to Mitch played by Billy Crystal?

Curly, “Do you know what the secret to life is?

Mitch: “No, what?”

Curly holds up his one finger and says, “One thing, just one thing, stick to that and everything else don’t mean shit.”

Mitch: “Yeah, but what’s that one thing.”

Curly: “That’s what you have to figure out.”

Yeah, the one thing. Our mission, our purpose, our vision? The one thing that we are totally passionate about? The one thing that helps us to survive and perhaps to thrive?

The one thing for me, in addition to the love of myself and my family (OK, hey it’s my life, and if I want two things, so be it) is the regular daily practice of meditation. In my case, Transcendental Meditation ™ which is a mantra-based meditation. I have also found breathing and visualization techniques very powerful. My choice of methods is to sit comfortably with eyes closed using a simple, easy, effortless mental technique.

I say meditation is my One Thing because if you read my last two posts on LOL you know I have been through two bouts of cancer, a heart attack, adult-onset diabetes and my wife and I are currently going through bankruptcy and possible foreclosure on our house of twenty-eight years.

Yet, every morning I wake up with a smile on my face and hope in my heart. I consider learning to and practicing meditation on a regular daily basis to be the most important thing I have ever done for myself and for my family. If you don’t want to meditate for yourself then meditate for your family. The results are phenomenal but they do take time. Meditation is not a quick fix, instant-gratification thing but if you work at it, it gets you ongoing, longterm results.

Perhaps it can help you, as it has helped me in handling and overcoming the slings and arrows of life. When I first started to meditate I was depressed all of the time and then after a few months of meditation I was depressed only six days a week, then five and so on. Now I occasionally get depressed but only for a few minutes and not too often. Love you all!!!

Contact Mark if you are interested in learning how to meditate. His email address is: mark@hrugoals.com He teaches from his home in West Orange, New jersey. His new eBook, Brightening Your Life’s Path describes his personal spiritual journey.

We met Mark in his previous posts:

Courage (November, 2011)

He was a Little Old Lady in a Former Life (August, 2011)

Little Old Lady Newswire: Sometimes the answer is right in front of our nose

2012-01-09T06:18:00.000-08:00

Gentle civil disobedience shows a way.

article originally published at http://www.straight.com/ 12/28/11

Fruit tree grafting could turn city streets into urban orchards

by Stephen Hui

Fixing the Furnace continued: Solar's Coming

2012-01-04T08:42:00.000-08:00

In our last post, the furnace was broken, and we worried that plumbers would be put out of business by big utilities.

Meanwhile, we just read a tweet from GE which said that in 3-5 years, they think solar power could be cheaper than electricity generated by fossil fuels. GE: Solar Power Cheaper than Fossil Fuels in 5 years

We don't know how it will happen, but we hope it does (in a peaceful and orderly manner). Prices for solar components are steadily dropping and so, it could soon be a whole new ballgame.

I suppose we would still need some sort of furnace here at the house. That part sounds expensive. Perhaps there will be subsidies. Another puzzle to add to the list.

The Little Old Lady VS Giant Mean Cop

2012-01-03T06:53:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year to All. And a bit of silliness to start things off.

Normally, we believe Little Old Ladies should set the tone for polite behavior. But every once in a while we have to let our hair down, don't you think? As in the "Little Old Lady VS Giant Mean Cop"...

Credit goes to http://www.justforlaughstv.com/

On a more serious note - in our first half year we've started off looking at the lives, lifestyles and issues of older people, and have some wonderful profiles as a result. We've taken a look at our personal side and our shared home. Our thinking has also gotten clearer about what's important to LOLs. Housing and community for sure. But also creative ways to go about maintaining those key ingredients for having a satisfying life. And so, this year we will continue to focus on those ingredients which to our way of thinking include health, sustainable, intentional living and what goes into those very big words...not only shared housing, but solar explorations, seed banking, saving the bees, time banking, intentional communities, and services for seniors. We are looking for financial experts and will soon post our first interview with a loan origination office who spoke to us about reverse mortgages. That's it for now. LOL

A Parallel Universe: Alongside Dementia/2 - Coming To Grips, By Susan Lyons

2011-12-30T07:39:00.000-08:00

Dementia, a terrifying term, is a condition which more and more of us are experiencing first hand as life expectancies increase. Susan Lyons is a longtime journalist whose life has been rocked by this scourge as her much loved husband's developing cognitive decline permanently alters her daily routine, as well as her broader perspective. This column is affording her a venue to share her insights into caring for him -- as well as for herself -- during this difficult period of their lives. Susan Lyons's work has appeared in The New York Times and other northeastern newspapers. She was an award-winning senior reporter for The East Hampton (N.Y.) Star for 10 years before she and her husband moved to Charleston, S.C., where she continues to write and edit on a freelance basis as her personal life allows. LOL Dec. 20, 2011

In the early morning hours, when thoughts are just returning, I sometimes review for myself where I stand in relationship to my husband. So it was this morning, and this is some of what came to me:

The relationship between a person with dementia and the primary caregiver is inexorably, though sometimes imperceptibly, on the move. While the intellectual and emotional lives of these two people will always have their history – at some point they will share little in common. Picture two overlapping circles slowly easing away from one another until only their edges touch.

All forms of dementia have similarities, generally ending up in the same place, and the wisdom and guidance from sensitive professionals can be a great help along the way. But everyone with dementia, and everyone helping the one who has it, is a little different. Like fingerprints or the timbre of a voice, they and their relationship are unique.

Those of us who do this know that these distinctions are part of what makes it so hard for the caregiver: There is no day-to-day template, no hard-and-fast playbook. We're on our own.

My husband, Richard, is the smartest man I've ever known. Really. While he still cannot admit it to me, his wife of nearly eight years and his sole caregiver, he has been struggling with vascular dementia for at least five years now. During this time, I too have been coping with it – and with him, and with us, and with me. (No wonder I'm tired.)

In the beginning, both of us were angry: He out of fear and frustration (“This CAN'T be happening!”); I, in panic: “WHAT is happening?....HELP!!!)

In the beginning, there was no help. Family members were scattered far and wide, he was in stubborn denial, and in an effort to protect his dignity/privacy, I was reluctant to confide in friends. To add to the mix, his internist categorically refused to talk with me. Then in his late 70s, Richard appeared robust, but had a hospital chart thick with a history of cardiovascular problems, hypertension, bladder cancer, and a family history of vascular dementia. His doctor's behavior, a perverse application of physician-patient confidentiality, made things considerably worse. I really was on my own.

The two of us struggled intensely, alone, for many months, nearly fracturing the two-year-old marriage that desperately needed support, neither of us understanding what was happening, and both unschooled in how to handle it. We hit a crisis point – but concluded that we loved each other. Really.

After that, I began to study, to reach out, to try my damnedest to do this right – within our relationship when possible, somewhat alongside it now that the decline is picking up. I may be on my own, but I'm determined.

Although increasingly impaired, Richard is still funny, clever, ever smart...in waves – one minute, confused about the day of the week, the next, teasing out the real meaning of some politician's hidden agenda. Most days he has no clue about how our bills get paid, then in a flash he's talking about Wall Street like a veteran trader. He'll forget who our postman is – but ask pointedly why a stranger spent half an hour with me in our living room earlier in the day. He can't put a meal together anymore but he sure knows what a good one is, and isn't.

His denial is a complicator, which I have decided to work with rather than fight. Why push someone to acknowledge something as fearsome as this – especially a life-long self-sufficient bulldog-type, especially when there is no cure.

But this is hard.

It is hard for me to live in his reality – and also in mine and in what is still ours. It is hard to be in charge of everything and pretend sometimes that he is too. It is hard to endure the aloneness and confinement that this caring requires. New friends and strangers make him anxious. He is happiest at home, in the security of a daily routine – with our wonderful collie – and me – at the ready.

And yet! (There's always a “yet”). Imagine if the Internet did not yet exist, if my incredible friends and neighbors did not care for me and for us, if I did not have my health and the love of a beautiful daughter and granddaughter.

Yes, this may be one of the hardest things I have ever done – sometimes so agonizingly painful and tantalizing that it burns. But I know that one day, when this all passes, I will re-embrace my personal freedom a more empathetic person – ever richer for Richard having been part of my life, and heaven knows, ever stronger.

For shared comments, a click on the title takes you to the comment window. Susan can be reached personally at amagansue@gmail.com

To learn more about dementia, and especially about the needs and skills of caregiving, the Internet can be a superb resource. I recommend two sites for regular reading – caring.com and alzheimersreadingroom.com. SL

Death by mortgage? Not for this couple. Home is a sailboat - and it’s paid for.

2011-12-28T08:45:00.000-08:00

Ann Hoffner is a recognized magazine writer on the subject of sailing and living at sea and in foreign ports. She and her husband, photographer, Tod Bailey, have lived on a sailboat on and off for the past 11 years. Her work can be seen in Cruising World, Blue Water Sailing, Ocean Navigator, and Sail magazines.

By choosing to live on the water, Ann Hoffner, 57, and Tod Bailey, 64, have sidestepped many of the financial issues which are making the rest of us crazy.

To do so they’ve had to embrace large waves, tiny spaces, wide oceans, and a lifestyle which is very close to the bone, and which can sometimes be terrifying according to Ann.

But it’s the life they’ve chosen, and they love it. Although they say they may have to work until they die.

To which I reply, “Me, too. Hardly a moment goes by when I’m not thinking about the freedom which would come if I could only get my expenses in line w/ my income. But that hasn’t happened so far, which is why I have paying houseguests and why I’ve started this blog… To see what others are doing.”

During the past 15 years or so Ann and Tod have sailed all through the Caribbean to Galapagos, the Marquesas, Tuamotus, Tahiti (French Polynesia), Kiribati – originally the Gilbert Islands – the whole South Pacific Ocean, essentially all the islands - Fiji, New Caledonia, Tongo, Western Samoa, American Samoa – Most recently they ended up in Darwin, Australia, which is where they hunkered down for four years off and on – as long as the Australians would let them stay. If they could work it out, Darwin would be home.

LOL: Ann - you and your husband were both following traditional career tracks, Tod as an architect, you as a writer / editor. How did you end up living on a 44-foot sailboat?

Ann: Well, for one thing, I like boats. And it’s not your ordinary sailboat like the ones that people plotz around on lakes in. It’s a 44-foot sailboat which sleeps two (more in a pinch) – holds 8 for cocktails in the cockpit, and 4 for dinner in the cabin. Sometimes it’s too social. Sometimes you leave port just to get away from people.

LOL: It sounds fabulous. But how did it all begin?

Ann: It began in 1991, during the first recession – Tod’s architecture business and my writing and editing business were going down the tubes. I grew up sailing. I’d read, Tania Aebi’s Maiden Voyage – about her trip around the world in a 26 foot sailboat, solo, at a much younger age than I was at the time (she was 18 through 21), and I thought, “If she could do it I can do it.”

LOL: In essence, because of the economy, you decided to do something when you were young – Something with a big ‘S’ - instead of waiting. Perhaps there’s a lesson here. Has it been worth it?

Ann: It changed us. It changed me entirely – We’d started with a smaller boat. And we thought we’d come back and go back to our old jobs. No way. We just worked to get another boat, a bigger boat. But we had to wean ourselves from security, from the notions of our old life, like, “Gotta have a house, a car, save for retirement.” It was really terrifying for a while. Now we can be anywhere and live – it doesn’t scare us. That’s the biggest change of all.

LOL: And how did your family react to your dropping off the face of the earth that way?

Ann: Not well. My parents were not impressed – In fact my Mother said, “Don’t let your daughter learn to sail, it’ll just ruin her”.

LOL: Did it? Did it ruin you? I know you came back that time, early on to try again for a life on land.

Ann: We did come back. We spent three years in the Caribbean. Then I got bored. I was 39 – I didn’t want to just fade into the woodwork – I didn’t want to sell t–shirts on the beaches of Saint Thomas – and we needed money. It was either that or find something to generate more income. I had not yet started writing for sailing magazines.

LOL: And now you have. Your career as a writer in the world of sailing is established and in fact, you are well known in those circles. You’ve been able to generate much of the income you’ve needed to live on the boat – although we know that it’s not enough to live on land. Now you’re back remodeling a house you bought through an estate sale, which you plan to sell to help fund the next round of your voyage.

Ann: That’s right. The owner died – they’d turned off the heat but left the plumbing on, so the pipes froze and then burst. It was a mess. There was no interior, it had been taken out. But they cleaned it up and put it on the market as a major fixer upper. So we bought it.

LOL: When you’re done will you have enough to leave? Is that the plan?

Ann: Yes, that’s the plan. We live on a margin that would scare most people and it took a long time to get there. But, I don’t want to be here. I really don’t want to be anywhere. I don’t want to be tied down.

LOL: Can you tell us a bit about your day-to-day life?

Ann: In some ways it’s not so different. You do everything you do anywhere else – you just do it on a boat. You eat, you shower, you fight, you write – but the setting is romantic and you have a choice of where you do it. Often we’re just going between countries for a couple of days to a week. The longest we’ve been at sea is 26 days. Eighty percent of our time is spent in port visiting countries. But with a fair amount of danger involved.

People here (in the US) see us as wonderers, as poor, but not the people on the Islands. No matter how little we have we always have far more than the people whose countries we visit. We usually take boatloads of stuff as trading goods – money is useless – often the islanders’ only expenses are for school – what are they going to buy on a little island? They haven’t even moved up to a cash economy yet. A woman brings a handful of mangoes to your boat - we give her a kid’s t-shirt – and she can then trade that for what she needs.

Actually they have terms for us. We have the status of a pet “wally” (white person)… you’re not a resident, but you’re not a tourist. You’re a semi-resident. They expect things. They expect you to give back. They think we can fix anything – If you don’t, you don’t last very long. Nobody lasts who doesn’t follow those rules. The family that adopts you uses you as status. They’re not primitive – they’ve followed a different course. (For example) In Papua New Guinea they give a lot of gifts. The first thing they’ll do is come out to give you things, establishing a relationship of responsibility. Then it’ll come back to you – two weeks later there’ll be a sick aunt who has to go to a hospital in Australia.

LOL: What about pirates? Are you worried about them? How about the community of sailors? Do you help and protect each other?

Ann: You don’t go to the Horn of Africa, or Socotra … You go thru Red Sea in convoy. But the chances of any pirate finding you, or of anyone finding you, are very slim. You meet friends and make friends. There’s a whole community of sailors that’s completely close knit. But at sea you can’t help each other. You’re still on a small boat. If something happens in the middle of the ocean nobody’s going to come scrape you off. Quite frankly, I don’t want to give up my decision-making to somebody else about things like weather prediction. One of the attractions of our way of life is that you’re completely in control. With deep-ocean sailing most people stay on their own. Your own actions are what’s going to get you there.

LOL: And what of the future? Do you think about retirement?

Ann: We will have to live very modestly. We can’t retire in style, but we have enough put away to not be a burden to anybody. Basically the plan for our retirement is to build as many marketable skills as possible. But who knows what next year will bring.

At home with Little Old Lady: After 24 Years, The Boiler’s still good – A Happy Holiday Gift to Me, Mine and the Plumbers

2011-12-26T06:21:00.000-08:00

Our house was built in the 30’s. It’s as solid as a rock and although the boiler doesn’t go back that far – at 24, by today’s standards it’s still very old. So every year we hold our breath, and try to keep it healthy by calling Joe Corraggio, our plumber, for an annual service visit and checkup. He takes 2 – 3 hours as we anxiously wait for his assessment.

And the good news was, so far so good. He gave it a clean bill of health. I have no way of knowing if I’m spending way too much on heat but I do know that it will take a lot of heat & electric bills (they’re on the same statements) to make up for the $10,000 plus it would cost to replace it with anything as good.

Here’s the back story: Five years ago, the furnace stopped. It was January. And I was in rehab with a broken ankle and MRSA. Luckily for me (I thought) I had PSE&G’s worry free contract in place. A very kind neighbor agreed to call and meet them at the house. It took several days but they finally got there, only to tell her that they were not able to fix it because it involved water! – But they told her, “Don’t worry. You can do it. It’s easy.” All she would need was a short list of parts which she could get from Home Depot. Right.

After I got over the shock – still in rehab – unable to walk – with a wound that wasn’t healing, I arranged for the plumber to come. And he fixed it. I later learned from a random PSE&G line person (a woman) that PSE&G had been taken to court by the plumbers for attempting to take over their work, and were hence forbidden to do any repairs involving parts that touched water.

Meanwhile, I’d paid around $6 a month for at least 10 years - which equals $720 – for that !@#$@#$ Worry Free Contract, and this is what happened the one time we called them.

And so every year I’m glad to have this reason to ask our plumber to come over. At a time when megalithic utilities are pushing out small business like plumbers – they still don’t provide this kind of service (although they are working on getting at it). It makes me sad and mad that from the looks of it, plumbers will soon be going the way of small hardware stores as giants like PSE&G take over their turf, like Home Depot did with the hardware stores.

But the plumbers won this round. Go plumbers.

Happy Holidays from LOL, Daisy, and all of our Guests

2011-12-25T10:44:00.000-08:00

"Mmmmm Good Cake"

At Home with Little Old Lady: Rachel has gone and Daisy is in mourning-again

2011-12-22T08:16:00.000-08:00

Daisy wasn’t asleep at the foot of my bed this a.m. Instead, I found her in absent Rachel’s empty room snuggled into Rachel’s bed pillows soaking up what was left of her vibes. Shared housing is hard on lonely dogs with lots of love to give.

Daisy is a rescue dog who was sent to our local no-kill shelter from the New Orleans area after Katrina hit. Who knows what she went thru before she got here.

Rachel is a grad student who is moving on to her next adventure in life. But from Daisy’s perspective – everything she knows and loves, disappears. This is, of course, true of life in general, but it goes much faster from a dog’s perspective when she lives in a guesthouse.

Most recently Rachel’s little black dog, Marley, was sent to live with Rachel’s parents because her (Rachel's) life was getting busier and busier. Now, Rachel herself has left to be with her family for the holidays. She will return in two weeks, but only to pick up her stuff and begin life with her new husband, away from here.

Daisy has gone into a stupor as she always does when this happens. I believe it to be shock. And I can’t help feeling her pain - So, Daisy is the reason that we like guests with small dogs.

The good news is that our friend and former guest, Ed, the playwright from Florida, may come back again this summer with his not so small black lab. The two dogs nearly wrecked the garden last time he was here but it was almost worth it to see Daisy so happy.

Dogs who get along can be very beautiful together. If you are lucky, you will see them playing and dancing in the twilight as they go leaping around one another - pretend biting each other's mouths – I like to think they are kissing.

Little Old Lady Newswire: Grey is the New Black; more women are ditching artificial colors and proudly wearing their gray hair

2011-12-20T08:04:00.000-08:00

reprinted from January 2012 NJ.com article / inside-jersey

Submitted by Florence Weisz

We are REASSESSED

2011-12-19T06:15:00.000-08:00

William Blake - A Poison Tree

A reassessment letter just came in the mail. After checking out all the houses in our town from the outside - they’ve knocked down the value of this house by $57,000.

It seems the whole town has just been reassessed. We’d all been going up, up, up along with everyone else. But more recently, of course, it’s been a downward spiral. Is that $57,000 in equity?

Worry - worry:

I don’t usually remember my dreams. But I know I have them and lately I’ve been remembering bits and pieces of the bad ones. I’ve had two (2!) horrible dreams this week: In the first I was somehow responsible for killing a baby in a pressure cooker – could that be me killing off my new life in the ‘sage stage’, just when it's really beginning. In the second, I was on a grassy African plane with only one tree in sight to provide shelter. But it was a Poison tree. It had a strong, beefy trunk and a wide canopy but if you stood beneath it to escape the sun, it would drip poison on you. No shelter there.

I remember hearing about poison trees which I thought were in Africa, so I tried looking them up on Google images. But nothing showed up except “A Poison Tree,” a poem written in 1794 by the poet William Blake (see his illustration above).

What are my dreams saying? Is the pressure of maintaining this lifestyle murderous? Do houses slowly eat away at our time and resources? Time we could be spending on other things, like writing? This is definitely throwing me for a loop.

"Don't let the reassessment throw you," says Elaine, who lives upstairs, reads voraciously, and knows a lot about a lot...another advantage of group living. "It's not like an appraisal. This is done for tax purposes." According to Elaine, this figure is not the same as a real estate appraisal and has nothing to do with the selling price. There's a certain amount of taxes they have to collect across the whole community, she said. If they feel that certain areas of town are unattractive to people - they encourage people to buy there by lowering the taxes, which causes them to feel they're getting more house for the money. The municipality is often just shifting the tax burden to give support to one area and to lessen the burden carried by another. In the end the municipality collects the same amount of money because they just adjust the tax rate.

Still concerned, I asked realtor, Ken Krasner, who more or less said the same thing...throwing in a lot of ‘you shouldn’t be worried’.

Ken: "It's a reassessment. It's an exterior inspection only, taking into account the way the house looks from the outside including the size of the house and land. They're not doing an interior inspection. It would be a reval if they went inside and looked at the interiors. A lot of people are worried because the valuations are a lot lower than they think they should be. But we don't know what the taxes will be until they give us the rates (which won’t be for months). After reassessments - the town adjusts for tax purposes and tries to come closer to what the real market value may be. Until we attract more commercial business I can't see how they're going to cut people's taxes. And in general I don't see a drop in the amount of money the town needs to collect because they need more than they needed a couple of years ago, (not less).

LOL: Does that mean I should continue to worry?

Ken: I don't think it will have a big effect. Sale prices on houses come in above and below assessment all the time. But we all will be waiting w/ baited breath to see what the tax rates are.

LOL: What does this do to the selling price of my house?

Ken: It's hard to say. If you put it on the market now - a potential buyer who is inquisitive will see the new amount. But there are already lowball offers in this market. I don't think this in particular will make there be more lowballs. If your home is desirable to a buyer, it will sell for whatever he's willing to pay for it regardless of what the tax assessment is.

LOL: Hmmm

LOL: Stay put. Don’t stay put… At least now I know the difference between a reassessment and a revaluation.

MY GUILTY SECRET

2011-12-15T06:05:00.000-08:00

MY GUILTY SECRET

I read Romance Novels!

WHAT'S YOUR GUILTY SECRET ?? :-) LOL

Parvathy’s Back from India!

2011-12-09T08:58:00.000-08:00

By having a guest house, I get to travel without ever leaving home. Now Parvathy's back and we are sharing her adventure.

She arrived needing a ton of sleep from burning the candle at both ends, so she stayed overnight. Although she doesn't live here at the house anymore, Parvathy met me, my daughters, and our many mutual friends because she lived here for quite a while during her studies at a local University. And we have stayed good friends. Parvathy actually lives in two worlds. She lives here in the USA where she is working, and in South India, where she grew up.

Home is really India where she has an enormous extended family and generations of tradition. Home is also here but in a very different way. How wonderful that over time she has shared her traditions with us. How many vegetarian meals we've had. We've made yogurt from scratch w/ pasteurized / homogenized milk, when I said it couldn't be done. I was sure wrong.

Here's how:

Bring 1 cup milk to a simmer than slightly cool to room temp. Blend in 1 tablespoon of just about any kind of plain yogurt at room temp. Gently stir and leave in a warm place, covered, until yogurt forms - in India that's in a few hours. Here it took over night to gel. One wonderful surprise. Fresh yogurt is sweet, not sour. I'd forgotten.

Henna Ceremony Prior to Her Sister, Pavithra's Wedding

There were also visits to the Temple. To the Indian districts. To concerts and movies. To the Miss India contest. What an adventure it has been. Now she has returned from her sister’s wedding - a major event for over a thousand guests held over many days which she has shared with us in anticipation and now in photos. We were all invited but for various reasons could not go.

The Bride and Groom on their Wedding Day

On the 17th we will have a Pot Luck birthday party for Parvathy here. You will be our guests in spirit. She will email invitations out today.

Welcome back! Time for lunch. LOL signing off

Little Old Lady Newswire: Graying Town Builds a Life Beyond Bingo

2011-12-07T06:38:00.000-08:00

By PETER APPLEBOME, The New York Times
December 5, 20

SOUTHBURY, Conn. — Judy Plouffe and her mom are big on mother-daughter outings in this picturesque suburb off Interstate 84.
There are Friday pizza nights with their neighbors in Heritage Village, van trips to the Danbury Fair Mall and a full schedule of events at what used to be the town library. Ms. Plouffe is partial to the aerobics, pinochle and square dancing there. Her mother, Frances Lefevre, preferred weight-lifting, tai chi and bowling on the Wii until health problems slowed her down, but she figures she is about ready to get back to some of her favored activities at the old library, which is now the Southbury Senior Center.

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/12/06/nyregion/southbury-conn-adjusts-to-aging-population.html?pagewanted=all

A Parallel Universe: Alongside Dementia - By Susan Lyons

2011-12-05T07:56:00.000-08:00

Dementia, a terrifying term, is a condition which more and more of us are experiencing first hand as life expectancies increase. Susan Lyons is a longtime journalist whose life has been rocked by this scourge as her much loved husband's developing cognitive decline permanently altered her daily routine, as well as her broader perspective. This column will afford her a venue to share her insights into caring for him -- as well as for herself -- during this difficult period of their lives. Susan Lyons's work has appeared in The New York Times and other northeastern newspapers. She was an award-winning senior reporter for The East Hampton (N.Y.) Star for 10 years before she and her husband moved to Charleston, S.C., where she continues to write and edit on a freelance basis as her personal life allows. LOL

The morning was mild on the Saturday after Thanksgiving and the sunshine beckoned me outdoors to refill the little vase on our dining room table where four-day-old blooms had tired. The vase was a gift years ago from a dear friend, and I think of her whenever I use it. It is the perfect size for the delicate purple lantana and periwinkle plumbago that still color my yard this time of year.

Having my pick of flowers in late autumn is one of the joys of living in the garden-infatuated city of Charleston, S.C., and part of what inspired me to move here with a new husband after more than 60 years as a northerner.

Richard and I met when he was somewhat farther along life's path than I, but the 15 years between us seemed less important than the commonality we found as journalists eager to explore the world – and conquer the weekend crosswords. We each loved French food, American music, original thought, the stuff of nature and, in time, one another.

Today, the years between us matter more.

Today, Richard won't notice that I have refilled the little vase, even though he will be at the dining room table most of the day reading and rereading a collection of newspapers. He still notices if I don't, though, sensing something missing if flowers are gone from the table, or the mantle. Is that just a man-thing, I wonder, or another sign of the invisible, unpredictable, unwelcome condition that has grabbed hold of his mind, and our lives, for some five years now.

Every day I ask myself 100 questions like that: Is his reaction to this or that a guy-thing, a Richard-personality thing, a “normal” aging thing – or is it the dementia marching on?

The answer is pretty clear when packaged cookies turn up in the freezer. It's clear when, in the space of five minutes, he asks three or four times, “Is it cold out today?”

Actual memory loss is only one effect of vascular dementia – medical-speak for the mini-strokes that clog his brain's blood vessels. Undeniably, it is the fog of dementia when, out of the blue, the atmosphere bristles with tension over the smallest decision – when to leave for a movie, which herbs to add to a salad. It is also the culprit that makes the television remote control too complicated, the automated phone message from a doctor's office too confusing, the checkbook impossible to manage, and sometimes, the passage of time unfathomable.

And it is unremitting. This is a man, who for half a century filed stories on the most complicated political and scientific subjects for international wire services and national newspapers; today he cannot remember who is running for president.

Yet (at this stage of life, isn't there always a “yet?”) there is still much to share. Last week we delighted, together, at three terrific movies at a local French film festival. A few evenings later, our public television station aired a Motown Sound look-back, and we rocked, together, in our living room. As he does frequently, Richard recalled an interview he had done as a young reporter for the Memphis (TN) Commercial Appeal with a “genuinely nice young man” named Elvis Presley, and, claiming bragging rights, spoke as though it had happened the day before yesterday.

On Thanksgiving, because it is increasingly difficult for him to manage visitors or socialize in a group, we agreed on a seafood dinner at a cheery local eatery and thoroughly enjoyed a hearty Bouillabaisse, chatting intermittently with the couple at the next table. A stress-free Turkey Day.

Stress. That is what this is often about, big time. Stress, above all except the sadness. For dementia in all its forms, most often as Alzheimer's, carries an acute poignancy for those who care, and caregive, playing out, day after day, as something now known as the long goodbye.

For shared comments, please respond here. A click on the title takes you to the comment window. Susan can be reached personally at amagansue@gmail.com

Wangari Muta Maathai on "time goes by" blog

2011-12-02T08:32:00.000-08:00

Ronni at timegoesby.net has featured our story on Wangari Muta Maathai at her blogs "Elder Storytelling Place".

You can see Ronni's post here:
http://www.timegoesby.net/elderstorytelling/2011/11/wangari-muta-maathai.html

And our original story here:
Wangari Muta Maathai Has Died at 71 and the Trees Will Mourn

Many thanks Ronni! We are happy you have shared in keeping Wangari Muta Maathai's legacy alive.

Little Old Ladies Come in Many Shapes and Sizes

2011-11-30T06:50:00.000-08:00

Drawing by Soho Sally

(sohosally.com)

Baking Pecan Pie

2011-11-25T13:31:00.000-08:00

The Day Before UnThanksgiving

It’s 7:08 on Friday morning, the day after Thanksgiving and the day before UnThanksgiving. This reference is to The Mad Hatter's unbirthday tea party - you only get one birthday and every other day is an unbirthday :-)

I know I said I wasn’t calling it that anymore but habit prevails. I’ve dragged Daisy out of bed, made my coffee, watered my little pots of African Violets, the good luck bamboo, the ivy and the narcissus, and now it’s time to bake the pecan pies. I’ve decided to write while I’m cooking to keep my mind from wandering.

I am either a very negative or very positive person - but I wake up negative and have to work out of it. My trick for staying positive is to sit cross-legged on the floor, and put something positive into my mental field of vision by reading or meditating. I love this time of day and love sitting on the floor - I consider getting up and getting down to be a stretching exercise and it is one of the reasons I’m fighting off hip surgery w/ herbs,

which is another story.

Today I will try reversing the process of putting things into my mind. Instead I will see what pops up and write about it while I’m cooking. Watch out for dark thoughts. For example the price of pecans has gone way up, so this year I bought pecan pieces which were several $ less per pack and will also mix in some walnuts – I don’t like the idea because habits die hard. But pecans are so valuable now that I heard on public radio that robbers are attacking the pecan groves at night. A quick check in Google reveals that we can blame the Chinese. Apparently the Chinese love our pecans so much they are now purchasing ¼ of the crop which are not only delicious but good for the brain: Shell Shock: Chinese Demand Reshapes U.S. Pecan Business or listen on NPR . Actually we should blame the Government! Why are they allowing the Chinese to buy our pecans when they are clearly needed here at home?

So here I am back again - I am taking out the ingredients bit by bit and then returning to the blog. So far I’ve cracked upon 8 eggs – 4 per pie because I’m doubling the recipe and making 2 pies … there’s one left over which is back in the fridge. This is my Mother’s recipe, written in her own hand onto a lined 3 x 5 card which is yellow w/ age. She was a Russian immigrant who probably didn’t have too many pecan pies growing up. I have no idea who taught it to her and don’t think she was a happy cook, so this was one of the few things she ever taught me. And is it delicious. She calls for 3-4 eggs per pie. Since these eggs are small, I’ve used four. Next, 1/4 cup sugar (1/2 C for two pies) – I’ve substituted Domino’s dark brown which somehow stays soft – we probably don’t want to know how.

Then, 1 C or less of pancake syrup (2 C for two pies) – I’ve use real maple syrup. This pie will be worth its weight in gold. And we can understand why maple syrup is so precious when we learn that it takes many, many gallons of sap to boil down into less than 1/2 a gallon of syrup (maple syrup). Add a pinch of salt per pie, two teaspoons of melted butter (4 tsp. for two pies), and a big drop of vanilla. Mix well.

Add 1 C pecans (2 C for 2 pies).

Pecan Pie:

3-4 eggs

1/4 cup sugar

1 C or less of pancake syrup

pinch of salt

two teaspoons of melted butter

big drop of vanilla

1 C pecans

Combine all ingredients. Bake in unbaked pie shells for 45 minutes. It will rise high then fall again at room temperature. There is no comparison between this pie and one purchased at the store – even a good one. Every year I make 4 or 5 pumpkin pies and 2 or 3 pecan pies. Done. Now on to the pureed squash and then to the turkey.

Happy Thanksgiving

2011-11-24T06:59:00.000-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

There's a flurry of activity here. Everyone has left or is leaving, including myself, and it's a bit like a way-station at the moment.

We will have a pot luck celebration at our house on Saturday with former house guests who are living nearby, friends, neighbors and family. I used to call it UnThanksgiving, but no one gets the reference to the Mad Hatter's Tea Party anymore so now it's Post-Thanksgiving. We are not deconstructing or dissing - not the case.

Yesterday was wonderful. John, a friend from the local historical society helped me make 5 pumpkin pies after a giant breakfast w/ guest Betty, who joined in for the company but just watched because she'd already eaten. The menu included a fluffy cheddar cheese omelet, crisp oven-baked bacon, toast w/ butter and raspberry jam, OJ, bananas and fresh coffee. We weren't Vegans that day. Guest Rachel, was leaving for home in Ohio yesterday at the same time, a 12 hour drive and she's safely there. Former guest, Parvathy has gone to India for her sister's wedding - she left that afternoon.

And now, I will go to friend Carla's today for Thanksgiving dinner (it's Thursday/Thanksgiving proper) and I am nervous about driving alone. All the effort to create community but there are times when we're going to be alone. It's time to suck it up and do the drive.

Little Old Lady Newswire - Home Sharing is a Growing Trend (again)

2011-11-23T06:31:00.000-08:00

Nuclear families are a recent phenomenon created by a rising economy and ease of travel. As times change in this down-trending economy, the wisdom of joining forces is once again becoming evident and people are starting to live together again.

Two readers sent in this article by Jane Ganahl which was posted on secondact.com about

people choosing to live together to manage cash flow and create community.

More Single Adults Share Their Homes : http://www.secondact.com/2011/11/shared-housing-results-in-more-golden-girls-households/

Thoughts on Rebranding Continued

2011-11-19T09:24:00.000-08:00

This is a response to Debbie for her good thinking on names - she said,

"One day you will wake up POSITIVE that the name you have is perfect or isn't - wait for it."

Thanks, Debbie. In our last post we began to publicly think about the impact of our name. Everyone we approached loved the name until the possibility of being profiled came up - or even of writing a guest post. Then, all hell broke loose in a discrete way of course, and many have declined because they do not want to be associated with these words - Especially, "OLD". God Forbid. As I mentioned in my last post - it's dangerous to be seen as Old!

However, as our brother, Tom, pointed out, the name has sticking power and hopefully it will stay put. And the truth is, objectively speaking, little, old, and lady are all good concepts or at the very least real and probably what we need to change is our thinking not our name. But, we'll see.

We just received the above mentioned comment from Debbie to that point - She said,

"I am part of the Once A Week Vegan group you posted a comment to this week. I
started this blog with my nephew hoping to attract 5 more authors so that everyday a different voice would post. (We were originally 7 Shades of Vegan).

I understand how a blog begins and then it turns out to be something else and a name change seems important. One morning I woke up POSITIVE that we had to change our name to reflect what we are - my co-authors at the time were reluctant to let go of 7 shades - they adjusted. I tell them, when we publish our e-cookbook we can use that name.

Anyway, one day you will wake up POSITIVE that the name you have is perfect or isn't - wait for it.

I write another personal blog you might like to look at, sonsieadavid.blogspot.com
(Sonsie and David were my childhood imaginary friends.) I felt more comfortable hiding behind those names in the beginning. I'm braver now and have added my real name in my profile.

At 64, I love life. The future? I'm going to follow your blog and learn from you. I am not afraid of the future. Challenges will present themselves for sure. Haven't they always?"

Thanks again for posting. Debbie.

Should We Rebrand Little Old Lady?

2011-11-15T07:16:00.000-08:00

Should we change our Name? The Little Old Lady Stays Put (or doesn’t) was supposed to be about exploring the possibility of aging in place (or moving). But I actually find that I’m looking at the broader issue of how people are living by writing profiles of others and posting guest bloggers discussing their experiences and thoughts.

In the process, I’ve been running into all sorts of reactions to the “Little Old Lady” idea – some good – some even terrific, but many full of fear. FEAR. People don’t want to be associated with Little Old Ladies.

The other night at a design association gathering, I was speaking to a woman of Indian – from India - descent, telling her how I started this blog because I’d just turned 70 and was wondering how I would manage. Where would I live? How could I afford to live? And she was full of praise. Which seemed natural to me because the Indian culture still seems to respect old age.

But when I asked her how old She was, she said, “I never talk about my age”.

“But, I just told you mine,” I said.

“It doesn’t matter,” she said, “I never discuss my age. It’s dangerous.”

Dangerous.

I’m running into a lot of that.

If we change our name I will still write about senior people’s lives to showcase how others are doing it. First of all I love meeting people. Second, I am a professional profile writer. And ultimately we can and should learn from each other. Most of us are in the 99% and this is a new ball game.

The question is, should we keep the quirky name and image of “Little Old Lady” or go to something generic like “Senior Living” or “Senior Lives”? That sort of name is more homogenous and we could fit more into it.

Any thoughts? I’m chewing it over.

New Community Gardens Flourish in Blacksburg, VA

2011-11-10T10:41:00.000-08:00

New Community Gardens Flourish in Blacksburg, VA, under the Benevolent Eye of 70-Something Arlean Lambert, who has returned home once again to become a modern day farmer-grandmother to an entire community.

We are grateful to trailblazer, Arlean Lambert, for showing the way to enriching us with locally grown food and gardens. Husband, Don Lambert’s photo essays will now be a regular LOL feature documenting the growth of this project known as 600 Bishop Road. We will begin with one of his earliest photo essays taken in April, 2010 - Look for a next edition every 2 – 3 weeks.

Now here is the story of the 600 Bishop Road community gardens:

After much cogitating and twisting in the wind, retired children’s librarian, Arlean Lambert, moved back to her childhood home in Blacksburg, VA, rescued the family’s 15 acres from encroaching developers, landed a lifetime tenancy in the house where she grew up, and is now the guiding hand behind a shining community effort to develop sustainable gardens with elements of solar and permaculture, in which teaching, learning, and relationships are growing in equal portions.

Sometimes you can go home again.

LOL: Arlean, you’d been living and working in Maplewood and South Orange, NJ, for years. You were a much-loved member of the community. What happened? What brought you back after such a long time?

Arlean: I grew up in Blacksburg, Va. but moved to New Jersey in 1966 when my husband got a teaching position at NJIT in Newark. Living in metropolitan NJ, taught me the importance of open space in a densely populated area. I’d been to the Reeves Reed Arboretum in Summit, NJ, and saw what they’d done there…(they are 11 acres and we’re 15). And I thought, “Summit was open once and now it’s built up. Someone in Summit had the foresight to look ahead (and create the arboretum).” The same thing was happening in Blacksburg – more highways, gas stations, strip malls, housing. There was very little open space any more. I saw that as a great need in this area, too.

LOL: Many people worry about the loss of open spaces. What specifically caused you to take action on the need that was there?

Arlean: Through the years, as my family and I traveled back to Virginia to visit my parents, I was alarmed by the disappearance of open space around Blacksburg. When my father died in 1996, my youngest son, Jacob, then a freshman in college, telephoned to ask what was going to happen to my parents’ 15 acre property when his grandmother died. I was appalled that my son could be so brash, and I informed him that such things were not open for discussion. He insisted that I had to do something otherwise the space we loved so much would disappear into a strip mall or multiple houses. After several years, I came to agree with Jacob, and got up the nerve to brashly broach the subject myself to my mom.

LOL: Can you give us an example of how your awareness changed?

Arlean: When it gradually happens you actually don’t notice it. But when you come back after a long time, you say, “Oh, my gosh – that was a farm over there and now it’s a housing development.” People who live here don’t see it. In fact they said, “What do you want to make gardens for? If you want to see a squirrel just go down to the duck pond.” But it’s essential to have habitat for all kinds of animals. It was important for me to go away. Because when I came back I saw this place differently. Sometimes you have to travel far to discover what is near.

The second time we drove back to Blacksburg from NJ, I really saw the mountains for the first time. I grew up in National Geographic country and didn’t even know it. I would say, “Oh, Mom it’s so beautiful here,” and she would say, “Arlean, what’s wrong with you – this is just Blacksburg.”

The hardest thing to see is what is right in front of you. If you don’t go away, you don’t really see – You’re left with, “This is just Blacksburg.” Thank you, Jacob, for being so forthright. This never would have happened without your brashness!

LOL: What happened after you realized that something should be done and your Mother gave the idea her blessing? Did you have a plan? How did you go about creating this place?

Arlean: I was thinking about that, and the truth is - if I wrote a book the title would be – “I bumbled my way through life”.

In fact, Dad offered it to me in the early ‘90’s – but at the time I said, “Oh no, I’ll never come back to Blacksburg.” It wasn’t until I saw the adjoining property fill up with mega –mansions - after 40 years in Maplewood, that I changed my mind. But, it was just an idea - like a small palette …a small canvass that I was working on.

LOL: You mean you didn’t have a plan? Then how did all this happen?

Arlean: When I suggested to my mom that I just might be interested in coming back to Blacksburg to help develop the 15 acre property into gardens, she was overjoyed. She was a gardener. Since my other two siblings had no interest in my idea, my mom placed a letter in her will stating that if I still wished to move back to Va at her death, I would have first choice in purchasing the property. My mom, Berneda Hale, died in June of 2003, at 89, and I purchased the property in the fall of that year. The house was rented for the next 6 years while I worked on the goal of bringing the mortgage down to zero. When I completed paying for the property in 2009, I retired from my twenty-five fabulous years as the librarian at Marshall School in South Orange. My husband and I moved to Blacksburg on January 1, 2010.

LOL: Over the years you’ve spent good deal of time looking for ways to work with the community and move forward. You explored possibilities with several well meaning individuals within the Parks Department, but found that they were tied hand and foot by bureaucracy and budget constraints.

Arlean: In fact they said they didn’t know when they would actually get around to developing the gardens. Since it was government, everything had to be tested – They sent a notebook full of exhaustive tests of everything in the house and everything on the property, which was 4” thick. With all the testing, for us to put a little foot bridge over the stream in the meadow would have cost over $40,000. I said, “What – I could do it for $1000.” So I changed my mind. I continued bumbling around -

I started making payments to pay down the sales price in 2003. I learned that the Virginia Tech YMCA had community gardens behind the cemetery which needed to expand. It was through the YMCA that most of our wonderful connections occurred. In 2007 I met David Roper, who had just retired from VA Tech- and was looking for land to build a solar greenhouse. He came out and looked at the land and was totally ecstatic. We broke ground on November 4, 2008, the same day Obama was elected president. It was opened in September, 2009, with space for 15 winter gardeners. When I came down in 2010 I had a place to go – with all the greens and lettuce I could eat.

This is a big community activity and it’s quite an interesting experiment. A local architect worked for free. Local builders donated their work. A wealthy resident donated $50,000 for the materials –The Y brought in volunteers – It’s the best bumbling I’ve done.

LOL: Now that the gardens are established and I’ve heard you say you don’t have to travel anymore because the world comes to you. What did you mean by that?

Arlean: We are presently in our second year of the community garden with forty families gardening on individual 30’ x 30’ plots in a space of approximately 1 acre. Many different countries are represented in this garden in addition to a good number of Americans.

LOL: Really? Which countries?

Arlean: This year we have Napal, Japan, Italy, Turkey, Egypt, Laos and Bangladesh. And people from all over America. One Muslim woman gardens in her Burka. I’ve learned so much. For one thing I didn’t now it was possible to garden in a Burka – she gardened until almost the last day before her baby was born and nobody even knew she was pregnant because she comes to the garden in her Burka. I call it the United Nations of Gardening. We are all getting to know one another. Every last Tuesday of the month during the summer we have a Pot Luck dinner.

My mother, who was a devoted vegetable gardener, would be overjoyed to see the abundance this land is producing.

LOL: I’ve heard you discuss permaculture as an underlying principal for your gardens. What is permacultue?

Arlean: Permaculture is a big project – It means Permanent Agriculture because it’s perennials – it’s the way God gardens or earth grew up. We’ve planted trees like Asian pear, plumbs, apple and nut trees and Naturescapes, a permaculture landscaping company has built an arbor and have put in 4 native kiwis which are different than the ones we get from New Zealand which will only grow in a tropical climate.

I just keep bumbling around. I’m not a big person to say “this is what’s going to happen.” It’s an organic process. When we built the green house – the south facing windows slanted down – in the winter ice formed on that window – sun melted the ice which fell and built up and caused problems. You often can’t plan ahead you have to live with things. David Roper had a man with an earth mover, take the earth away… creating a space for a kitchen garden. We are calling it the Emily Stuart flower garden – she was a beloved person in Blacksburg – she started the first community garden the Y had. We are going to remember her with this garden that we created in front of the greenhouse filled with flowers that you can eat. And a bench – with a quote which says, “ She left the world more beautiful than she found it.”

LOL: Arlean, this is an amazing project and you are a Living Treasure. Keeping in mind that these gardens are unfolding, what closing thoughts do you have for today?

Arlean: I feel like Rip Van Winkle. I have awakened. People say, “You are so excited, you have such a zest for life.” I feel like I’m getting old. I don’t know how much time I have left and I’m so excited about what’s right around here – because there’s so much right here. I meet people all the time. I grew up here but I feel like I’ve actually lived under a rock. I have no desire to travel any farther than right around here in Virginia. Soon after I came here I got a call from a travel agent asking me to go to Hilton Head – Why would I want to go to Hilton Head when the most amazing water falls and the most amazing stone outcroppings are right here. I have places in Blacksburg right here that I’ve still never seen.

It’s an adventure. Everyday I take a siesta and yesterday when I got up – I had no idea that I was going to pick apples – but three college students were there, saying, “Do you want to go pick apples?” So we did. I find myself thinking so much of the time, “I can’t believe I’m here. I can’t believe I’m here.”

No Heat, No Power - LOL as a conspiracy theorist

2011-11-08T04:41:00.000-08:00

Old fashioned telephones make a big difference even if they’re not really smart.

I just got back into the house after a week w/ no power / no heat. And so I learned that we're sitting ducks for social collapse because there was also no communication unless you happened to still have a landline.

We hear about the importance of disaster readiness. As far as I can see, we are not even a little bit ready for a disaster! Not if we plan to communicate. And the truth is, we’re ripping up our own communications infrastructure in the name of a fast buck.

I learned this because we recently lost our phone service in a freak October snowstorm – apparently there has been nothing like it since the 1930’s – possibly the 20’s - and realized that phones and phone-like devices stop functioning when the power is out. I actually suspected that that could happen but was poopooed by my service providers when I mentioned it. Well, it happened.

Meanwhile, old-fashioned landlines aka wirelines, would still have worked in most cases, but they are being ripped out all over in favor of newer, glitzier devices and services such as FIOS and various versions of cordless smartphones.

From this experience, The Little Old Lady concludes that private business should not be in charge of communications security because their attention is glued to the bottom line and the heck with communications.

The problem is that without phones, radio, TV, and access to the Internet no one will know what’s happening and there would very quickly be no order in the world.

I am not quite old enough to remember the Town Crier but that would seem to be the only alternative to this scenario. Is that the plan? Are we going to bring back the town crier?

Perhaps there is no plan.

The back story is that we’d planned a small birthday party for one of our guests on the date of the first night and not realizing the severity of the storm, thought it was great fun to cook in the dark by candlelight (we retained our gas connection). The house was still warm and dinner by flickering candles was festive and beautiful. We got into our beds, slept well but arose to a frigid house on day two. After a token clean up, we fled to the warmer homes of friends who still had power. As the days passed the house got colder and colder.

Those without power also lost phone service unless they had landlines. Sitting there in the dark and the cold, with no internet, no radio, no TV, no information - I realized how easy it would be to take us down.

We are preparing ourselves for helplessness in this way, at this very moment. In the grip of the quest for short-term profit the telecoms are promoting cheap phone packages with short term battery backups which cannot be replenished during a power outage. Consider - if a hostile force wanted to take over, it would just need to take over the telecoms, continue to advertise their cheaper phone service, and wait for the next serious storm.

With just one such storm and no ability to receive or transmit information, chunks of our society would be on their knees.

My question is: Why is this country allowing it’s fabulous landline system to be ripped up? Why are most people not made aware that the essential similarity between cordless phones, cellular phones, and internet-based Skype phones, is that they all need battery backup after a short time or they will stop working!!!

The landlines which are being ripped out don’t need battery backup. Landlines are not foolproof but my home would not have been cut off from the outside world for a week if we’d had one still.

There should be a law.

Courage

2011-11-04T06:15:00.000-07:00

Mark Riesenberg is facing some of life’s toughest challenges to his health and livelihood. He shares his thoughts on living life to the fullest thru good times and bad. I don’t know if I will be as brave when my turn comes. We met Mark in his previous post: He was a Little Old Lady in a Former Life (August, 2011)

Over 40 years ago, when I was 23, I set a goal to be a role model for perfect health, and I made four decisions to help myself accomplish this:

¨ I started to meditate

¨ I began practicing yoga

¨ I committed to exercising 5+ times a week

¨ And I became a vegetarian

And, for over 40+ years I have not had a cold, a running nose, a scratchy throat, or even a slight headache. So you would figure that I was doing a pretty good job on this perfect health goal.

Then when I turned 50 I was diagnosed with early stage prostate cancer. I thought no big deal, we caught it early, I will have the surgery, and it will be one less thing I have to worry about. The surgery was successful and I never considered myself a cancer victim or a cancer survivor.

Then when I turned 60 I was diagnosed with Type 2, adult onset diabetes. Bummer, but again no big deal. Take the prescribed oral medication, make some minor adjustments to my diet, go for regular quarterly blood work and I will be fine. Then, after being cancer free for 11 years my annual blood test showed that the prostate cancer had returned. Now, this was a big deal. February, 2010 I started hormone therapy and 40 radiation treatments. One of the side effects of the hormone-radiation program was a 30% increase in heart disease risk. November 4, 2010 I had a heart attack and now have two stents in my right artery.

So much for being a role model for perfect health. That goal is clearly gone after diabetes, prostate cancer and a heart attack.

So, now I have a new goal, a new vision: To be a role model for people to show that no matter how tough things get you can still be happy, wake up with a smile on your face, and enjoy every precious moment of life. Oh, by the way, while going through all of these health issues, my previously successful business of 25 years totally collapsed and my wife and I filed for and were awarded bankruptcy and are now facing foreclosure on our beautiful home of 28 years.

LIFE IS GOOD! ;-))

Birthdays! Do we embrace them, ignore them, hate them or love them?

2011-10-28T09:02:00.000-07:00

Guest blogger, HOPE PLAYER, is midway through her 50’s, or halfway to her 60’s; a baby senior citizen staring aging in the face. It’s a brave new world requiring a new kind of toughness. She is already an award winning Certified Public Accountant, author of Find the Numbers for Your Business Plan; a managing member of The Arcadian Group, LLC, CPAs, and the Micro Business Press, LLC. But this is new territory. She is a beginner here as we all are when we make it this far.

Hope may guest blog for us on the subject of Seniors as Entrepreneurs. But first she is mulling over her new status as a younger older lady.

Our advice: ENJOY. Happy Birthday Hope 

“My 56th birthday was a few weeks ago. Wow, when did I get this old?” (Editor’s note: “Get real. You’re still a kid. (OK, We’ll shut up)”.) Hope Continues …“I know it’s only a number and I’m not depressed about it, but I am amazed that “56 years old” is associated with me!

Obviously, turning 56 isn’t a surprise, since I’m currently 55. After all, I’ve willingly used the over-fifty senior discount at Bealls department store for nearly six years. I embrace the “early-bird discounts” for dinner at nice restaurants, and I qualify to live in one of those 55+ retirement communities where they organize bus trips and plan casino nights in the community room. I’m also a card carrying member of AARP, and ask for the hotel discounts when I travel.

But being 56 doesn’t mean I have to act old. I won’t act old and that is a choice I make. I find myself in the space between the mythic stages of fertile Mother - where I nurtured a marriage, a career, several pets - and Crone. Donna Henes, urban shaman and author of Queen of My Self defines this stage in her book as “Not yet old, yet no longer young. She is a regal Queen standing in Her proper place—. . . Still active and sexy, vital with the enthusiasm and energy of youth, the Queen is tempered with the hard-earned experience and leavening attitudes of age. She has been forced to face and overcome obstacles and hard lessons, including Her own self-limiting tendencies, and in so doing has outgrown the boundaries of Her old self. . . . She sheds all attachment to the opinions of others and accepts complete responsibility and control over Her life. She is the Queen of Her Self.”

I say “Long Live the Queen!” Oh, and Happy birthday to me!

LOL Newswire: Social Security Benefits to Rise

2011-10-21T07:03:00.000-07:00

Social Security Benefits to Rise 3.6%, First Time Since 2009

by John Yedinak | October 19th, 2011 - Reprinted from Senior Housing News

We are delighted to spotlight this short article by John Yedinak who reports on the first cost of living increase since 2009. Our monthly benefit is $817 at the moment. We will use the additional $25 or so for discretionary purposes – perhaps towards the $3,000 dental bill we are currently paying down.

FEAR

2011-10-20T07:17:00.000-07:00

Occupy Wall Street? We say, “Of course.”

Our only question is, “why hasn’t it happened sooner”? This Little Old Lady saw those first kids out there and had a moment of déjà vu. Because she was there in the 60s – so, just wait. And, look what’s happening. We feel prescient. But how can it not be so when there are tent cities springing up once again, more or less outside of the disregarding eye of the media. And, why is that…?

Meanwhile, those of us with homes are trying to hang on. For many, our underground guests are helping us to make ends meet - a growing category of resident which would be in the census if they were legal … And the hobgoblins come out to play in the night.

Here are a few mentions of the issue at hand - CNN: The jobless in New Jersey find refuge in Tent City .

And from alarmist - lawyer, blogger, Michael Snyder: "For decades, our politicians have been deeply addicted to government debt, they have stood idly by as millions of our jobs have been shipped overseas and they have passed countless business-crushing regulations and they never thought that it would catch up with us. Well, it has. America has been living in the biggest debt bubble in the history of the world, and now that bubble is starting to pop. There has never been such an extended period of unemployment in the United States since the Great Depression, and millions of Americans are losing their homes. Homelessness is skyrocketing, tent cities are popping up everywhere and countless numbers of American families are experiencing the soul-crushing despair that comes from desperately trying to hang on for month after month after month…”

Tent Cities Pop Up Everywhere In The U.S. As Homelessness Skyrockets By Michael Snyder on November 19, 2010 (New York-based personal finance & investing website Daily Markets . com)

What is the fear? It is, “Will this be me?”

Wangari Muta Maathai has died at 71 and the trees will mourn

2011-10-18T07:30:00.000-07:00

For various reasons which I am finally beginning to understand, I’ve been more of a hider than a doer in life. But in the last ten years as I’ve been coming out of my shell - poking around to see what’s going on. In the process I have become a sort of explorer. Since blogging is about doing and being seen, about showing up - we’ll see how I do. Meanwhile, amazing people are everywhere and it is my great joy to meet them and to write about them.

It was in this spirit of exploration that I went to hear Environmental leader, Wangari Maathai with my friend Arlean Lambert whom you met briefly in our post of Tuesday, September 20, 2011 “What you Focus on Grows”. Wangari spoke at the Museum of Natural History in NYC which is a wonderful place to visit. And I highly recommend going to hear people speak as a form of entertainment.

Wangari was born in 1940, in Nyeri, Kenya, one month less than a year before I was born here in the USA.

Her home was near a stream and a wood lot. As a girl, she would go to the stream to get water for her mother for cooking and drinking. The wood lot provided fuel for cooking and heat.

I grew up in the US in what was referred to as the comfortable middle class. We lived in a solidly built house with running water and piped in gas, big enough to shelter a large extended African family but not regarded as particularly large in my town.

During this period tremendous changes were occurring worldwide. In the US small farms and woods were being swallowed up by subdivisions, urban sprawl and agri-businesses. Wangari’s wood lot disappeared into a coffee plantation. The stream from which they drank was first poisoned and then went dry. While women in Kenya were increasingly struggling to find water fit to drink and chopping down the last bits of wood that remained to cook their increasingly meager meals, foods from around the world appeared in ever-greater variety in our supermarkets. Chefs drizzled their creations with obscure ingredients, which would have tantalized Nero in another age.

Wingari was not the first to notice the connection between the disappearance of trees and the disappearance of clean water, but she was the first to introduce that insight to the disempowered Kenyan women whom she knew and the first to urge them to respond by planting new trees.

For her efforts she was reviled, beaten, jailed, but ultimately honored throughout the world as a Nobel Peace Laureate, because she focused the attention of the humblest to the most powerful on the connection between trees, food, water, and war.

We humans have tended to view history as a description of war and conquest, or at least that was how I experienced it in school – Histories were tedious lists of battles won and lost – the humans involved seemed secondary at best – the significance of cultures was not yet appreciated at all. Only recently have we noticed the causes of war which transcend battle strategies and the lust for power, such as the need for natural resources, food and water.

What does this have to do with Little Old Ladies? Just this: Society cannot be expected to support its weak and aged if it cannot feed itself. In the current atmosphere of ‘Senior Citizen as dim wit’, many of us who are strong and capable have abdicated our roles as wise and experienced teachers and leaders. There is much to do and it is up to everyone to do it – even old people, even senior citizens, even us. Africa and the third world are not so far away anymore – The problems they deal with on a daily basis have come to us now, too, in the form of pollution, deforestation, encroaching desertification, growing climate change.

I began this blog at the age of 70 because I thought blogging would help me in my struggle to figure out what’s next for me as I get old. At the time I was thinking about issues of income, health care, Medicare, housing--things like that. But here I am half way to 71 and although those subjects are still on the list, I find myself far more drawn to people and places – special people who have crossed my path and have used their lives in ways that are worthwhile and wonderful. I believe I am looking for teachers.

Wangari Maathai was a teacher on a global scale who knew how to speak to each individual and make her message come alive. She told us that every person needs about 22 trees to get the oxygen they require, and reminded us that we had better know where our trees were. I could see everyone mentally counting up the trees in their yards. But personally, I had no idea where my trees were. Are they here or are they in the rain forest? It’s a worry.

Wangari died on the 25^th of September, 2011, and I am sad that she is gone before I had a chance to be in her presence again.

After the Wedding

2011-10-14T05:38:00.000-07:00

They're Married and I'm Pooped

Hello everyone: We've had our wedding and now I'm back. It was wonderful. It took place over four days after what seemed like a year of planning and although we weren't so sure while it was going on, it was worth every minute. The bride and groom were beautiful and I felt like a light bulb which had been switched on from the inside out. I was literally glowing, and so was everyone else.

My own wedding was also a joyous occasion but it was over in about four hours during which time we were married, saw loved ones, ate together, danced together, said our goodbyes and went on our honeymoon. This time around, my new son-in-law's family hosted a glamorous dinner on Friday night. On Saturday we had a rehearsal in the a.m., a casual gathering at my home in the late morning, a nap, and then a Chinese take dinner for out-of-town friends. On Sunday we had our all stops removed outdoor wedding and indoor reception which was blessed with perfect weather, gorgeous clothing, wonderful food and music, and loving friends and family. It went from 3 to almost 9 pm with 2 after parties, one for the young people, the other for anyone else with the stamina to carry on.

On Monday a.m. there was a brunch in the park with a tent in case of rain (no sides), a kite, and our Daisy dog. The result: our friends and families have honestly and truly met.

The Little Old Lady is signing off

MEMO: Daughter's Getting Married-No Posts for Now

2011-10-07T08:03:00.000-07:00

This Little Old Lady married late (for the time)...had children late (for the time)...and now her daughter is getting married! Late for this time. So we're on hiatus at LOL for this week. We will be back soon. Love, LOL

70 Is Not The New 60

2011-10-04T08:30:00.000-07:00

In a recent post I began by noting that “with guests moving in and out, the hurricane coming and going, and work... yes, I still work and there's no end in sight…” Famous last words. I wrote that only a short while ago (Tuesday, September 6, 2011 to be precise). But that was then, and this is now, and at the moment I’m unemployed. The end may not have been in sight but it was lurking right around the corner. However, other than worrying a lot about money - a feeling which is mingled with cold bursts of fear especially in the middle of the night…I’m ecstatic.

“How beautiful it is to do nothing, and then rest afterward.” (Spanish proverb).

I read that in a book called The Well-Fed Writer, Financial self-sufficiency as a freelance writer in six months or less, by Peter Bowerman. It is a book with heft, but my feelings when I read it must have foreshadowed the steady decline of my ambition for while it reads beautifully, it is full of good advice which I have yet to take. I’m not doing nothing yet, but I’m working up to it - letting each task occupy more space is step one. I would be happy to continue freelancing as a publicist and even as a writer, although the strategy piece is what really interests me. But, I’m very tired of hawking my wares. Let them find me! However, if anyone actually tries, I may hide, even though having an income is a great temptation. And if they don’t try to find me, my guest rooms are full up for the next few months and I won’t starve.

The truth is, I’m 70. And 70 is not the new 60. That is a myth perpetuated by the anti-social security people to get us to back off. “Why should you need social security at 70 when you’re really only 60?” “Go fly a kite,” say I. “It’s time for a break.” I am feeling greedy to own my own time and I’m telling myself, “If not now, when?”

This is LOL saying, "over and out".

Little Old Lady Newswire: Should we move?

2011-09-30T07:00:00.000-07:00

Where should we move? Can we afford to move? Will there be housing? East Northport, Long Island is taking this on with assisted-living development:

The NY Times Business, “Some Builders Are Ready for the Wave of Seniors,” 8.24.11

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/08/24/realestate/commercial/builders-of-senior-housing-respond-to-growing-need.html

Musings on Staying Put

2011-09-27T07:38:00.000-07:00

How much paper work does one Little Old Lady want to handle !@$#

Why do people keep saying The US Post Office has been privatized? Their website is still up. And we are still on the receiving end of an avalanche of mail every day. Some of it menacing depending upon the state of our finances.

For example, a recent letter from Wells Fargo declared that they had no record of our having home / hazard insurance. This was of concern because we have been paying Homeowner’s insurance since time began in monthly increments to keep what there is of our cash flow moving along as smoothly as possible.

It seems that as the banks played Monopoly, and Wells Fargo bought Wachovia which held both our equity loan and equity line of credit, notifications of the change to our insurance carriers – which had also reconfigured and changed names several times – went awry and were never received. Perhaps they were never sent. Who knows?

This situation was of concern because our mortgage would be invalid without homeowners insurance; because they slapped on a rider for $500 or so to cover the imagined lapse; and because it would take a good deal of phoning and backtracking between Travelers, the current flavor of insurance company handling our homeowners, and Wells, the current financial institution of record – which could be better used blogging and reading romance novels, our current illicit pleasure.

But, bless our soul, the problem appears to be resolved – and we can go on our belated birthday trip today to a regional winery with friends, Desiree and Grace, with a clear conscience.

Meanwhile, we’ve heard thru our usual source of information – the grapevine – that the postal service had been solvent but was used as a bank for other bodies with less cash flow of their own, thus bleeding it of reserves and finally practically killing it.

We understand the motivation since we are in the same position – often robbing Peter to pay Paul. However, so far we have been able to keep our home intact, providing a roof over our heads and the heads of others – who knows for how long…while, the behavior of the banks and the oversight agencies seems to have been hell bent on tearing those roofs away from as many heads as possible, leaving them unprotected and open to the elements. Should we say, “Thank goodness for the growing health of tent cities?” –

See: Economic Woes Lead to Proliferation of Tent Cities Nationwide

By Joshua Rhett Miller, August 11, 2011 - FoxNews.com

Love from the Little Old Lady

LOL Explores the World

2011-09-23T06:19:00.000-07:00

A Visit to the Permanent Mission of Uganda to the United Nations in New York

How wonderful to be publishing this blog. What an adventure it’s becoming – and this is only the beginning. Having a blog with a purpose – the operative word being ‘purpose’ - is turning out to be an open sesame for encountering interesting people, places, foods, and the unexpected. We were hoping it would be that way, and we thank our daughter Jane for shoving us into it.

Years ago when we met Penny – officially known as Carolyn Handler Miller, author of DIGITAL STORYTELLING, 2nd Edition and our first journalist friend - before we were involved in the field in any way ourselves - she told us that the best thing about being a journalist was that it gave her an excuse to be nosey. So true. And what a happy thing that is. However, we like to call it curiosity. And when we are being appropriate, we like to pretend it isn’t there. But it is there. In fact, we have observed that curiosity is a lifelong trait of the human, connecting us to the world around us, and adding spice to life when indulged. You will recognize it in yourselves by the tingling feeling which accompanies it. We highly recommend following its lead (on most occasions).

And so, after wrestling with our ‘to do’ list… we accepted an invitation from our friend Joanne Douds to join her and videographer, Nancy Heins Glaser at a talk related to real estate and the environment at the Ugandan Mission in Manhattan, thinking “sure, let’s go”. Joanne is Vice President of Development and Global Markets for Prominent Properties Sotheby's International Realty, and a delegate to the International Real Estate Federation for the United States, concentrating on sustainability and environmental issues in the world. So we knew it would be interesting.

The speaker, Elizabeth C. Belenchia, President of Carroll Properties Corp., is an activist for sustainability within the real estate industry looking for strategies to get more colleagues on board for 2012 Rio + 20, the United Nations Conference on Sustainable Development which is coming up next year, June 4-6.

It seems that lovely people all over the world are working to create sustainable housing in sustainable cities with integrated communities which will certainly be good for Little Old Ladies and Little Old Men – not to mention the rest of humanity - as well as possibly helping to save the planet. If it can be made to pay. Speaking to this point, Elizabeth spoke of a “green rate of return” which she said she’d coined for the occasion.

We understand that many misguided souls still do not believe that our energy resources, and resources in general are finite and will not keep up with our growing populations. Or that carbon pollution is a result of the overuse of fossil fuels by humans. We were interested to learn the other day on television that an analysis of atmospheric carbon will tell us where it came from and we can therefore measure the occurrence and growth of the carbon which comes from fuel. Global warming is our fault dear readers. Time for a change.

Love, LOL

What You Focus On Grows

2011-09-20T08:35:00.000-07:00

Retired librarian, current teacher / and permaculturist farmer, Arlean Lambert has sent a compelling response to our post: Reality Check – Should we Admit to being OLD? (Saturday, September 3, 2011).

We happen to know Arlean and treasure her friendship. As you will see below she is a skillful storyteller. And in an upcoming interview we will explore her adventures in retirement creating a cameo teaching farm in Blacksburg, VA http://www.blacksburg.va.us/.

For now we agree with her that it’s time to take responsibility for some of the negativity out there re. views on aging. What you focus on grows!

Arlean’s Note to Us: Dear Little Old Lady,

I just read through your blog and found it thought provoking. The part about admitting one's age and accepting the fact that one is getting old recalled an incident before I retired from my beloved librarian position in South Orange. It was 2002 and I was 62. I had a small group of 8 year olds gathered around me for a book review session. One child strayed off the topic and asked me my age. “Why don’t you guess,” I responded. “Twenty-two, seventy, fifty-one, the numbers tumbled out until one child actually said, ‘Sixty-two’. “You’re right,” I joyfully affirmed totally unprepared for what came next. One little voice piped up with a great affection, ”That’s o.k., Mrs. Lambert, we still love you.”

“Why shouldn’t you still love me?” I puzzled. “Just because I’m getting old doesn’t mean you should stop loving me,” I responded.

This little encounter set me to thinking. I do believe that adults set in motion this negative attitude about aging. Frequently when an adult talks about a birthday, it most often is accompanied by moaning and groaning that already another year has come and gone and they are getting old. A young child hearing these groans only can conclude, that past a certain age, birthdays cease to be enjoyed and that getting old is not good!

Probably the only thing we humans do exactly alike each day, is to get one day older. There is NOTHING to stop this phenomenon. So why not embrace the fact that we are indeed getting old and quit the moaning and groaning about something no one can control. Instead we could live, love, laugh and concentrate on becoming the best people we can be each day so that when the years pile up we will have some wisdom to share with the younger ones who have not yet passed our way. Whatever we do in life, it is instructive to listen to those who have been there and done that. Getting old has many joys and pitfalls, we all need advice, so we should be there to help those who are coming in our direction. They should indeed still love us because we have much to teach them.

Your writing seems to be on the right path to help change these antiquated attitudes about aging.

You go girl…………..Arlean

Right back to you Arlean. Love, the LOL

Moving: The other side of staying put

2011-09-16T11:35:00.000-07:00

Author, editor and journalist, Gale Steves – and husband, Phil a private finance guy, have just made the big move from NYC to Savannah, GA. Her book, Right-Sizing Your Home: How to Make Your House Fit Your Lifestyle, is now in its 2nd printing. http://www.right-sizing.com

Are there lessons to be learned from Gale’s move to Savannah? Yes, indeed.

While it involved a bit of kicking and screaming and a fair amount of give and take, this particular move has been accomplished with a minimum of bloodshed. However, it took a lot of thought, a lot of negotiating, a lot of hardcore planning, a lot of “hey, it’s time.”

A died-in-the-wool New Yorker, this smart lady happily stayed put in the big apple for many years, while her job as Editor-in-Chief of Home Magazine took her all over the country on editorial jaunts. This was a good thing, because thoughts of where she and her husband would eventually retire were never far from her mind, and it was a wonderful way to look around.

Manhattanites to the core with a country home to retreat to, the city was still becoming too expensive, fast paced and demanding – maybe it was not the best place to spend one’s golden years. When a fashion shoot took her to Savannah, Georgia, and the city’s magic drew her in, Gale began to think that perhaps they should consider the City of Savannah for their next home. It was worth exploring - which they did over many years – visiting, making friends, trying the lifestyle on for size - an ideal approach which we all should take, at the very least mentally. http://savannahvisit.com/

But we usually don’t. Or won’t. Because moving can be very scary.

LOL is guilty of that and is therefore eager to learn how it was done.

Q: Gale, how did you settle on Savannah?

Gale: I’ve spent most of my career traveling and I know that there are great similarities all over the country. The things we enjoy may not be as numerous (as in NY), but they’re certainly there. We both made a list of things we would want if we moved and we did this a long time ago because we’ve been looking at places for 15 years – methodically.

Her list:

A good book store

Nearby top medical facilities

A college, which adds young people and vigor to a town

We wanted to be able to walk everywhere if I couldn’t drive - I do that now in NYC.

And while I’m interested in culture - we now live very near Lincoln Center - I realized that I could accept culture with a small c.

Gale’s version of His list:

he’s an avid kayaker

he swims actively

culture – theater, jazz (he loves jazz) … Surprise: Savannah has a very active jazz community

Specialty foods, good wine

Gale: When we first went to Savannah there weren’t a lot of food choices – but that’s all changed. Their food is Low Country, which is high in flavor, but also high in fat. But now, many other cuisines are available as well;

however, MY favorite restaurant is my kitchen. We’ll have a lot of sea food, fresh fish, and there’s a giant farmers market nearby. I’m looking forward to being able to garden almost year round.

LOL: You decided to move – which was not a quick decision. Were there differences in the way you approached the move?

Gale: Yes. My husband has lived in NYC all his life and he had a hard time uprooting. But persistence has won.

I’ve come to understand that men really have deeper roots than some women do. It’s harder for them and some cannot “un-nest.”

But, in the process of discovering Savannah over so many years, we got to know people there and even rented a house for a period of time. So we could see how we fit into a different culture.

The worst thing is to go and see that you don’t fit into the social fabric.

LOL: If he loved New York so much, why not stay?

Gale: Money, for one thing. I can get a lot more living in Georgia than New York and my money will go a lot further for a longer time. But it doesn’t all boil down to money. We are ready for a very so slightly slower life.

LOL: Makes sense 

Are there words of wisdom you would leave with us?

Gale: Yes. Test and try before you buy. Of the two of us, I’m probably the more social animal – I wanted to see if I could make friends.

As it turned out, there are a lot of New Yorkers there – I found people.

In Right-Sizing Your Home, Gale helps us make sense of space no longer suited to the way we live today.

Here is her book on Amazon

LOL looks forward to hearing more from Gale on home and hearth, and to her new blog “Moving on”. Stay tuned.

Health and Wellness

2011-09-14T07:49:00.000-07:00

Certified Health and Wellness Coach, Personal Trainer and Walking GURU, Risa Olinsky, sends us this NIH article linking health to exercise: "For heart health, every bit of exercise counts": Via MedlinePlus http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/news/fullstory_116014.html

Risa has begun to lead walking groups at every skill level in her hometown of Maplewood, NJ http://www.maplewoodonline.com/. Ask her about starting a walking program in your town: http://www.risaolinsky.com/

LOL is not yet walking in a group but she is walking Daisy almost every day. She may need a little urging, a companion and a follow up coffee to seal the event. Little steps for little feet.

For more about Risa see our Interview of July, 11, 2007 -

"Exercise IS for Everyone. That Includes Old People. Which doesn’t mean I have to like it (does it?)" http://thelittleoldladystaysput.blogspot.com/search?q=Risa